1
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,866
- Looks just as good.
- Where do you get these?

2
00:01:42,034 --> 00:01:44,119
- He's got a million.
- They're so funny.

3
00:01:44,286 --> 00:01:47,247
Just remember,
don't mention the Communists.

4
00:01:47,415 --> 00:01:49,457
Calvin's a great guy,
but he's a little...

5
00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:51,459
- Nutty?
- What's his wife like?

6
00:01:51,627 --> 00:01:54,587
- You know, housewife.
- Likes to cook.

7
00:01:54,755 --> 00:01:56,756
- Pregnant.
- Normal, then.

8
00:01:56,966 --> 00:01:58,800
I wouldn't go that far.

9
00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,510
- Helen. Hi.
- Oh, hi, Betty.

10
00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:03,471
- Hi, Dave.
- Just look at you.

11
00:02:03,639 --> 00:02:05,974
- Any day now.
- Say hi to my sister, Ruth...

12
00:02:06,142 --> 00:02:08,268
Tell me if you heard this one.

13
00:02:08,436 --> 00:02:10,979
- A duck walks into a drugstore.
- Ha, ha.

14
00:02:11,147 --> 00:02:13,648
He says, "I'd like some lip gloss."

15
00:02:13,816 --> 00:02:16,818
The clerk says, "Certainly, sir.
Will this be cash or check?"

16
00:02:16,986 --> 00:02:20,739
- The duck says, "Put it on my bill." Ah?
- Ha-ha-ha.

17
00:02:23,034 --> 00:02:24,159
Oh, brother.

18
00:02:24,326 --> 00:02:27,287
He was a golden-boy professor
at Caltech.

19
00:02:27,455 --> 00:02:29,205
But then he started inventing things.

20
00:02:29,457 --> 00:02:34,711
He suddenly became very rich,
and that was it, he quit teaching.

21
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:38,715
- How's that?
- Just what the doctor ordered. Ha, ha!

22
00:02:38,883 --> 00:02:44,012
Calvin spends all of his time out there,
tinkering around in the workshop.

23
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:46,514
If you ask me, it's all very strange.

24
00:02:46,682 --> 00:02:48,016
Same is true of batteries.

25
00:02:48,225 --> 00:02:53,855
I could take your simple yacht battery
and rig it to last a decade, easily.

26
00:02:54,482 --> 00:02:55,523
Say, Helen...

27
00:02:55,691 --> 00:02:58,526
what does Calvin think
about this trouble down in Cuba?

28
00:02:58,694 --> 00:03:02,322
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
please don't bring that up.

29
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:16,336
I'd say my baseball card collection
is as complete as any one I've ever seen.

30
00:03:16,504 --> 00:03:19,005
Calvin? Hey, Calvin, Calvin.

31
00:03:19,173 --> 00:03:22,884
Kennedy is going toe to toe
with Khrushchev on television right now.

32
00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:25,553
- What?
- Ooh, boy.

33
00:03:25,763 --> 00:03:27,347
On the island of Cuba...

34
00:03:27,556 --> 00:03:30,725
unmistakable evidence
has established the fact...

35
00:03:30,893 --> 00:03:34,187
that a series
of offensive missile sites...

36
00:03:34,355 --> 00:03:38,483
is now in preparation
on that imprisoned island.

37
00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:58,419
Tower, this is Wolf 1.
I got five miles to the overhead.

38
00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:00,713
Wolf 1, Tower, report the numbers.

39
00:04:00,881 --> 00:04:02,382
You're number one for the overhead.

40
00:04:05,594 --> 00:04:07,929
Tower, this is Wolf 1,
I got a problem here.

41
00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:11,141
State your problem, Wolf 1.
Are you declaring an emergency?

42
00:04:11,308 --> 00:04:13,226
Stand by, 1.

43
00:04:13,769 --> 00:04:16,229
Additional sites appear
to be designed...

44
00:04:16,397 --> 00:04:18,398
for intermediate-range
ballistic missiles...

45
00:04:18,566 --> 00:04:21,943
and thus capable of striking
most of the major cities...

46
00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:24,279
in the western hemisphere.

47
00:04:24,446 --> 00:04:29,117
Folks, given this extraordinary turn
of events...

48
00:04:29,285 --> 00:04:31,911
I think it's prudent
we cut this evening short.

49
00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:34,330
I'm sure this Cuban thing
will resolve itself...

50
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:35,748
but in the meantime...

51
00:04:35,916 --> 00:04:39,586
I suggest we take
a prayerful watch-and-wait stance.

52
00:04:41,422 --> 00:04:43,131
Okay, folks, let's go.

53
00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:45,592
Bye, Helen.
Wish it could have been longer.

54
00:04:45,759 --> 00:04:47,343
- My coat.
- Oh, here you go.

55
00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,679
I'll call you, Betty.

56
00:04:53,058 --> 00:04:54,100
What did I tell you?

57
00:04:55,477 --> 00:04:56,644
Thank you.

58
00:05:00,191 --> 00:05:02,317
I'm not gonna let this pot roast
go to waste.

59
00:05:02,484 --> 00:05:05,862
Calvin, could you put that seat cushion
back on the lawn chair, honey?

60
00:05:06,071 --> 00:05:08,198
Shouldn't we at least
turn off the phonograph?

61
00:05:08,365 --> 00:05:11,159
- It shuts off automatically.
- Oh. Did you rig it to do that?

62
00:05:11,327 --> 00:05:13,328
- They all do.
- Oh.

63
00:05:13,495 --> 00:05:15,163
I never know anymore.

64
00:05:17,124 --> 00:05:21,502
I'll bet that's a fighter jet
on its way to Key West.

65
00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:23,004
Good luck, amigo.

66
00:05:23,214 --> 00:05:25,048
An emergency has been declared.

67
00:05:25,216 --> 00:05:26,799
An emergency has been declared.

68
00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:31,179
You hear that?
I'll come back for the radio.

69
00:05:31,347 --> 00:05:34,349
Oh, Calvin, I wish you would've
at least let me do the dishes.

70
00:05:34,516 --> 00:05:38,019
It's not gonna be easy to get
all this dried-on food off my nice plates.

71
00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:40,855
I just hope those plates
are not radioactive by tomorrow.

72
00:05:41,023 --> 00:05:43,483
Well, cheese
is particularly troublesome.

73
00:05:43,692 --> 00:05:45,693
I've got secondaries of an engine fire.

74
00:05:45,861 --> 00:05:48,321
I'm gonna need to find a clear area
to eject.

75
00:05:48,489 --> 00:05:51,866
Roger, Wolf 1.
Can you make it to the ocean?

76
00:05:53,869 --> 00:05:55,620
Roger that, Tower.

77
00:05:55,829 --> 00:06:02,043
I'm marking the 180 radial for five
and ejecting, Tower.

78
00:06:02,211 --> 00:06:03,628
Roger, Wolf 1.

79
00:06:16,433 --> 00:06:19,394
So how long will we
have to stay down here?

80
00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:22,230
For this thing to blow over
could take days.

81
00:06:22,398 --> 00:06:24,983
Days? Honey, what if I go into labor?

82
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:27,193
That could happen any time now.

83
00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:28,403
I've read up on it.

84
00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:32,365
If I have to,
I'll deliver the baby myself.

85
00:06:58,392 --> 00:07:00,601
Home, sweet home.

86
00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:02,061
To you, maybe.

87
00:07:13,907 --> 00:07:17,452
- Are you all right?
- I think so.

88
00:07:19,955 --> 00:07:24,292
Aah! It's happened.
Aah, look at that heat.

89
00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:29,088
All my surface indicators knocked out.
Oh, Lord!

90
00:07:29,256 --> 00:07:30,798
It's happened.

91
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,015
What was that noise?

92
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:42,935
The locks.

93
00:07:43,937 --> 00:07:45,521
The locks?

94
00:07:47,816 --> 00:07:51,319
To keep us from trying to leave.

95
00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:55,365
There's a radiation half-life
after an atomic blast.

96
00:07:55,532 --> 00:07:56,991
It lasts 35 years.

97
00:07:58,118 --> 00:07:59,827
Thirty-five years?

98
00:08:00,454 --> 00:08:04,874
Then, after that, it's safe to go up.

99
00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:12,673
According to Caltech, this Webber guy
was a bona fide genius...

100
00:08:12,841 --> 00:08:14,509
but a borderline nutcase.

101
00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:18,638
Well, he and Mrs. Nutcase must have
been out here when the plane hit.

102
00:08:18,806 --> 00:08:21,557
Unless we get a postcard or something,
that'd be my guess.

103
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:25,186
- What about relatives?
- They're all back east.

104
00:08:25,354 --> 00:08:28,856
Neighbors over there said
the guy spent day and night out here.

105
00:08:29,024 --> 00:08:33,361
She'd bring him sandwiches
and hot Dr Pepper.

106
00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:37,865
- He drank it hot?
- Yeah.

107
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:40,410
Good God.

108
00:08:58,554 --> 00:09:00,847
Hi, hon. Feeling better?

109
00:09:01,014 --> 00:09:02,348
No.

110
00:09:02,516 --> 00:09:04,142
We have to be strong...

111
00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:08,104
if not for ourselves, for the child.

112
00:09:12,734 --> 00:09:14,235
All our friends...

113
00:09:14,403 --> 00:09:16,571
Burnt to a crisp.

114
00:09:18,323 --> 00:09:21,617
- I'm not hungry.
- Hot Dr Pepper. Your favorite.

115
00:09:21,785 --> 00:09:24,704
No, Calvin, your favorite.

116
00:09:26,081 --> 00:09:27,457
Really?

117
00:09:30,627 --> 00:09:33,463
Chilly? Shouldn't be.

118
00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:37,133
- Temperature's a nice 73 degrees.
- Oh, maybe I've just got the creeps.

119
00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:39,677
How could you? This is just like home.

120
00:09:39,887 --> 00:09:42,763
No. No, Calvin.

121
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:45,475
This is different, believe me.

122
00:09:45,684 --> 00:09:47,310
Would you like a tranquilizer?

123
00:09:48,687 --> 00:09:53,191
- You've got tranquilizers?
- I told you, I have everything.

124
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:56,736
- What?
- Oh.

125
00:09:57,529 --> 00:09:59,363
Oh, hon.

126
00:10:01,241 --> 00:10:04,202
It's gonna be all right.
Yeah. Just breathe.

127
00:10:05,329 --> 00:10:07,371
I'll get my stuff.

128
00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:14,253
Oh, it's a good day
For singin' a song

129
00:10:14,421 --> 00:10:17,548
And it's a good day
For movin' along

130
00:10:17,716 --> 00:10:21,469
Yes, it's a good day
How could anything go wrong?

131
00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:24,138
A good day
From mornin' till night

132
00:10:24,306 --> 00:10:26,307
- Yes it's a good day
- It's a lovely day

133
00:10:26,475 --> 00:10:27,558
For shinin' your shoes

134
00:10:27,726 --> 00:10:29,977
- And it's a good day
- If you want a silver linin'

135
00:10:30,145 --> 00:10:31,187
For losin' the blues

136
00:10:31,355 --> 00:10:33,481
Everything to gain
And nothing to lose

137
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,859
'Cause it's a good day
From mornin' to night

138
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,069
You're right!

139
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:41,739
I said to the sun "Good mornin', sun!"

140
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:45,201
- Is there a problem?
- No, Calvin, babies cry.

141
00:10:46,161 --> 00:10:48,746
- I've noticed.
- What should we call him?

142
00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:50,748
I don't know.

143
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:53,751
Well, I was thinking
in light of the situation...

144
00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:55,795
we should call him Adam.

145
00:10:55,963 --> 00:10:59,924
- That's not sacrilegious, is it?
- No, I think it's just right.

146
00:11:01,176 --> 00:11:04,512
And I was wondering if... If...

147
00:11:05,847 --> 00:11:08,057
Whatever you want, Helen.

148
00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:09,684
I want a bedroom ceiling.

149
00:11:13,814 --> 00:11:15,231
You got it.

150
00:11:18,026 --> 00:11:21,195
'Cause it's a good day
For payin' your bills

151
00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:24,490
And it's a good day
For curin' your ills

152
00:11:24,658 --> 00:11:27,952
So take a deep breath
Throw away all your pills

153
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,413
'Cause it's a good day
From mornin' till night

154
00:11:30,581 --> 00:11:33,457
See, I flick this switch...

155
00:11:33,625 --> 00:11:36,961
and the image is projected
onto a mirror...

156
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,214
and the picture comes out here,
and it's perfect.

157
00:11:49,683 --> 00:11:52,351
- Well, almost perfect.
- Jackie Gleason.

158
00:11:52,519 --> 00:11:56,897
You know something? People will
never get tired of watching these.

159
00:12:06,742 --> 00:12:07,742
Lord...

160
00:12:07,909 --> 00:12:11,078
bless this food, this family...

161
00:12:11,288 --> 00:12:13,914
and make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.

162
00:12:14,082 --> 00:12:16,917
- Amen.
- Amen.

163
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:18,711
Let's eat.

164
00:12:35,312 --> 00:12:36,687
Calvin?

165
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:41,108
- Out here, hon.
- Oh, there you are.

166
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:44,236
We've looked all over for you.

167
00:12:45,614 --> 00:12:47,657
What are you doing back here?

168
00:12:47,824 --> 00:12:51,285
- I was just examining this rear hatchway.
- Why?

169
00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:57,291
Well, it's pretty clear that when the bomb
went off, the front entrance caved in...

170
00:12:57,459 --> 00:13:01,545
so, you know, we'll have to return
to the surface using this back entrance...

171
00:13:01,713 --> 00:13:04,548
which is very nice
because it has the service elevator.

172
00:13:05,592 --> 00:13:09,345
- Unless it's caved in too.
- Well, yes.

173
00:13:09,513 --> 00:13:14,684
- You wanted to see me?
- Yes. You ready, Adam? Watch this.

174
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,688
He can stand up all by himself.
Show Daddy.

175
00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:21,649
- All by himself. Stand up, Adam.
- That's my guy.

176
00:13:21,817 --> 00:13:22,900
Stand up.

177
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:25,152
My son.

178
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:29,657
Up, Adam, to the moon.

179
00:13:44,673 --> 00:13:46,465
Hey, boss.

180
00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:47,842
What do you make of this?

181
00:13:48,009 --> 00:13:50,511
- Damned if I know.
- Bet it's some kind of septic tank.

182
00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,847
Never seen a septic tank
that looked like that.

183
00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:56,100
Don't fool with it. If it is a septic tank,
I don't wanna open it.

184
00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,102
We'll just lay the foundation over it.

185
00:14:03,150 --> 00:14:07,987
"In Wonderland."

186
00:14:08,155 --> 00:14:12,742
I'd like to see the public school system
match that. I don't care how terrific it is.

187
00:14:12,909 --> 00:14:15,077
Don't you think
he's a little young for school?

188
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,122
People have no idea
what the human mind is capable of.

189
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:23,335
Look, Daddy. Alice went down a hole,
just like us.

190
00:14:23,503 --> 00:14:25,963
Will I ever get to go up on top?

191
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:29,800
Yes, you certainly will,
and you'll find a nice girl...

192
00:14:29,968 --> 00:14:32,595
and rebuild America
just the way it used to be.

193
00:14:32,763 --> 00:14:36,724
Oh, Calvin. I'm not sure we should be
making promises that perhaps can't be kept.

194
00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:38,893
I'm convinced there'll be
other survivors.

195
00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:42,146
In fact, I'm guessing there's life
on the surface even now.

196
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:46,400
Not life worth living, perhaps,
but believe me...

197
00:14:46,568 --> 00:14:48,527
something is moving around up there.

198
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:05,336
I'm gonna need two more
banana splits and a Cherry Coke.

199
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:06,921
You bet, Mom. Coming up.

200
00:15:07,088 --> 00:15:10,257
Oh, by the way, Mom, thanks for the job.

201
00:15:10,425 --> 00:15:12,760
- Buck-15 an hour.
- He's cute.

202
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:17,723
Your husband is crazy.

203
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,935
All right, what's the big news?

204
00:15:21,102 --> 00:15:25,189
- Ha-ha-ha. Ah.
- Oh, you're a riot.

205
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:30,194
Oh, what a riot you are. Ha-ha-ha.

206
00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:33,155
- Watch this.
- Very funny. Ha-ha-ha!

207
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,199
- Ha-ha-ha!
- You're a real riot.

208
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,618
They're coming now to put you
on a stage.

209
00:15:37,828 --> 00:15:39,912
There's been complaints
about me on the bus.

210
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,998
He's sending me
to the company psychiatrist.

211
00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:45,668
- Psychiatrist?
- Yeah, psychiatrist.

212
00:15:45,836 --> 00:15:49,255
- And that means I'm crazy.
- Oh, don't be silly, Ralph.

213
00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:52,716
Just sending you to a psychiatrist
doesn't mean you're crazy.

214
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:55,010
Stick it. That's right.

215
00:15:55,178 --> 00:15:59,223
Hook off the jab. That's right.
Bob and weave. Bob and weave.

216
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:00,724
Okay. Bob and weave.

217
00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:04,228
Excuse me, boys,
but I believe it's my turn now.

218
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:18,868
Three, four, five...

219
00:16:19,035 --> 00:16:22,329
five, six, six, spin.

220
00:16:32,465 --> 00:16:35,551
- May I cut in?
- You certainly may.

221
00:16:35,802 --> 00:16:37,845
Thank you, sir.

222
00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:17,885
I miss those nice flower-power kids.
How about you?

223
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,429
Ugh.

224
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:24,099
I've heard people say

225
00:17:26,853 --> 00:17:29,313
What the hell kind of music is that?

226
00:17:30,815 --> 00:17:32,858
Oh, man.

227
00:17:33,026 --> 00:17:35,361
I'm not sure I like that.

228
00:17:36,529 --> 00:17:38,530
Change it.

229
00:17:38,698 --> 00:17:41,784
We've shared love and made love

230
00:17:42,953 --> 00:17:45,079
It's just not enough

231
00:17:45,246 --> 00:17:47,706
Oh, oh, babe

232
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:53,879
My darling, I

233
00:17:54,047 --> 00:17:57,299
Can't get enough of your love, babe

234
00:17:58,259 --> 00:18:00,761
These are stock certificates.

235
00:18:00,929 --> 00:18:04,640
Your mom and I bought them for you.

236
00:18:04,808 --> 00:18:09,979
Of course, they're worthless now,
but at one time they were quite valuable.

237
00:18:10,188 --> 00:18:12,856
They're pretty. Could I have them?

238
00:18:13,066 --> 00:18:14,274
Heh. Sure.

239
00:18:14,442 --> 00:18:18,570
Now, let's move on to our French exam.

240
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,865
Latin exam, Dad. It's Tuesday.

241
00:18:23,994 --> 00:18:28,580
Gosh, it is Tuesday.
Time flies, doesn't it?

242
00:18:42,804 --> 00:18:46,807
You have a wonderful sense
of humor, son, I must say.

243
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:51,311
The acorn does not fall very far
from the tree.

244
00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:55,607
Oh, no! Agh! Oh, jeez. No.

245
00:18:55,775 --> 00:18:56,984
- I got you.
- I got...

246
00:18:57,152 --> 00:19:00,112
- Hi, hon.
- Hi.

247
00:19:05,243 --> 00:19:06,452
This is wonderful.

248
00:19:07,078 --> 00:19:11,540
It's my baseball card collection.
It's yours now.

249
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:16,086
- What's baseball?
- It's a game, son.

250
00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:20,424
I can explain it pretty easily.
You see, there's a pitcher.

251
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:22,509
Oh, like a painting?

252
00:19:22,886 --> 00:19:25,512
No. A pitcher.

253
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,765
Like one of Mom's?

254
00:19:27,932 --> 00:19:32,019
No, there's a man who throws the ball
to a man who has a bat.

255
00:19:32,187 --> 00:19:35,564
- Oh, the nocturnal flying mammal?
- No.

256
00:19:59,506 --> 00:20:03,967
I'm selling this place.
I want out of this hellhole.

257
00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:06,887
Whoa. Uh...

258
00:20:07,055 --> 00:20:08,680
Could I, uh...?

259
00:20:08,848 --> 00:20:11,725
If you sell, uh...

260
00:20:12,352 --> 00:20:14,394
Me... Could I, uh...?

261
00:20:14,562 --> 00:20:17,606
- Buy it from me?
- Yeah, yeah, that's it.

262
00:20:17,774 --> 00:20:21,735
- I'll give it to you, no money down.
- Cool.

263
00:20:22,445 --> 00:20:25,405
This neighborhood's going to hell,
anyway.

264
00:20:26,574 --> 00:20:30,536
At last! I am master of all I survey!

265
00:20:34,582 --> 00:20:35,666
No, no. Listen.

266
00:20:36,417 --> 00:20:39,044
I'm only gonna explain this
one more time.

267
00:20:39,212 --> 00:20:41,797
The runner on second goes to third.

268
00:20:41,965 --> 00:20:44,633
- It's... He's out there.
- Why?

269
00:20:44,801 --> 00:20:48,137
Because he's forced out.
It's... It's a force.

270
00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:53,475
- Then why go there?
- Because he must.

271
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:56,812
- Calvin.
- Coming.

272
00:20:59,607 --> 00:21:00,774
Yes, dear?

273
00:21:00,942 --> 00:21:03,152
You get the presents,
I'll get the lights.

274
00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:04,862
You bet.

275
00:21:06,489 --> 00:21:10,742
Happy birthday to you

276
00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:14,746
And many more

277
00:21:14,914 --> 00:21:16,373
Ha!

278
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:19,501
Thanks, Mom. Thank you, Dad.

279
00:21:19,752 --> 00:21:20,794
Blow out the candles.

280
00:21:20,962 --> 00:21:22,713
- Make a wish.
- Um...

281
00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:30,262
Here.

282
00:21:38,813 --> 00:21:41,815
Oh, boy, a jacket.

283
00:21:41,983 --> 00:21:44,985
- Your mom made that all by herself.
- No kidding?

284
00:21:45,153 --> 00:21:48,989
No kidding. Who else would have done it?

285
00:21:49,157 --> 00:21:51,200
I made these.

286
00:21:59,292 --> 00:22:01,585
Holy cow.

287
00:22:01,794 --> 00:22:03,670
What the heck are these?

288
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,174
It's your roller skates, yup.
I redesigned them.

289
00:22:07,342 --> 00:22:10,177
These are really swell. I mean swell.

290
00:22:10,345 --> 00:22:12,012
Well, what did you wish for, son?

291
00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:15,057
- If he tells, it won't come true.
- That's a bunch of baloney.

292
00:22:15,225 --> 00:22:19,102
- My family never believed that.
- Well, we did, in my family.

293
00:22:19,312 --> 00:22:21,813
I wished that I could meet a girl.

294
00:22:23,024 --> 00:22:26,193
- Oh, well, a nice one?
- Yes, ma'am.

295
00:22:26,402 --> 00:22:30,864
- One that doesn't glow in the dark.
- Calvin Webber, what a thing to say.

296
00:22:31,074 --> 00:22:34,201
Well, we'll be going up in two years.
We'll know then.

297
00:22:34,369 --> 00:22:35,577
I'm very hopeful.

298
00:22:36,955 --> 00:22:38,121
Me too.

299
00:22:38,331 --> 00:22:39,539
- Elbows, son.
- Mm?

300
00:22:39,707 --> 00:22:42,334
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.
What the heck am I thinking tonight?

301
00:22:42,502 --> 00:22:45,879
Well, you never know.
You might someday dine with the president.

302
00:22:46,047 --> 00:22:48,131
If we still have one. Ha, ha.

303
00:22:49,592 --> 00:22:53,178
You know, when we do go up,
I'm gonna miss this place.

304
00:22:56,432 --> 00:22:57,516
How about you, hon?

305
00:23:03,731 --> 00:23:06,233
Would you please excuse me?

306
00:23:06,401 --> 00:23:08,902
No, no, no, don't get up.

307
00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:14,801
- Should we say a prayer first?
- Just open the door.

308
00:24:29,650 --> 00:24:31,485
Long time.

309
00:24:34,364 --> 00:24:37,491
Well, it's dirty...

310
00:24:40,703 --> 00:24:42,996
but it seems to be okay.

311
00:24:46,459 --> 00:24:48,251
I know you're happy.

312
00:24:51,255 --> 00:24:53,548
Do we just go on up?

313
00:24:54,509 --> 00:24:55,675
No, son.

314
00:24:55,843 --> 00:24:59,221
Now is the time
we must be at our most cautious.

315
00:24:59,389 --> 00:25:02,766
- We wait for night.
- Oh, shit.

316
00:25:03,518 --> 00:25:05,018
Helen Thomas Webber...

317
00:25:05,228 --> 00:25:08,855
maybe we have been down here
a little too long.

318
00:25:09,649 --> 00:25:11,149
Pardon her French, son.

319
00:25:11,692 --> 00:25:13,193
"Shit" is French?

320
00:25:14,529 --> 00:25:15,779
Well, it's archaic French.

321
00:25:15,947 --> 00:25:21,076
It's a 16th-century colloquialism
meaning, roughly, "good."

322
00:25:21,285 --> 00:25:22,953
Your father's right.

323
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:24,746
Well...

324
00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:26,248
shit.

325
00:25:28,751 --> 00:25:29,793
Ah.

326
00:25:41,597 --> 00:25:43,807
All of these things...

327
00:25:43,975 --> 00:25:49,438
Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine
Anonymous, uh, Heroin Anonymous...

328
00:25:49,605 --> 00:25:51,731
There's a Heroin Anonymous?

329
00:25:51,899 --> 00:25:54,901
Will you please shut up?

330
00:25:55,069 --> 00:25:56,445
Sorry, sorry.

331
00:25:56,612 --> 00:26:03,118
All of these things ask you to believe in
a power greater than yourself.

332
00:26:03,286 --> 00:26:07,497
Well, I have lifted my eyes skyward
a time or two...

333
00:26:07,665 --> 00:26:11,376
and I certainly have not seen
anything coming from up there.

334
00:26:11,544 --> 00:26:13,920
Except a goddamn airplane.

335
00:26:14,088 --> 00:26:16,923
Which I can't afford to get on.
Ha-ha-ha!

336
00:26:18,885 --> 00:26:21,428
Whoa, earthquake. Another earthquake.

337
00:26:21,596 --> 00:26:24,848
Let her come, let her come.
Let's get this over with.

338
00:26:34,942 --> 00:26:37,569
Oh, God. Oh, God.

339
00:26:39,113 --> 00:26:41,239
Oh, God.

340
00:26:41,407 --> 00:26:43,742
Oh, my God.

341
00:26:43,951 --> 00:26:45,744
Oh, God, save me.

342
00:26:48,623 --> 00:26:51,750
For I have seen the light.

343
00:27:00,885 --> 00:27:02,802
I come...

344
00:27:03,304 --> 00:27:04,971
in peace.

345
00:27:21,906 --> 00:27:25,784
Leave my elevator alone.

346
00:27:46,764 --> 00:27:50,058
What happened to my back yard?

347
00:28:28,014 --> 00:28:29,723
Got a light, honey?

348
00:28:30,474 --> 00:28:34,978
A light? Yes, I do have a light.

349
00:28:37,148 --> 00:28:39,232
Good. Thank you.

350
00:28:40,026 --> 00:28:44,529
- So you survived the blast.
- The blast? Ha, ha.

351
00:28:44,697 --> 00:28:46,656
Honey, I've survived a host of things.

352
00:28:46,824 --> 00:28:49,784
Like the song says,
a country boy can survive.

353
00:28:49,994 --> 00:28:51,828
Did you say you were a country boy?

354
00:28:52,038 --> 00:28:55,540
Cute little old man,
if you want a boy, I can be a boy...

355
00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:57,584
and if you want a girl, I can be a girl.

356
00:28:57,752 --> 00:28:59,210
I can be whatever you want me to be.

357
00:28:59,378 --> 00:29:00,879
- Really?
- Uh-huh.

358
00:29:01,088 --> 00:29:03,965
It's all yours
for the remarkably low price of $200.

359
00:29:04,175 --> 00:29:07,469
And if you act now, I may even
throw in some free lawn furniture.

360
00:29:07,637 --> 00:29:09,220
Now, how about that?

361
00:29:09,388 --> 00:29:11,723
No. Thanks.

362
00:29:11,891 --> 00:29:15,644
- Thank you. I have to go.
- Go.

363
00:29:15,811 --> 00:29:17,771
I have to go.

364
00:29:17,938 --> 00:29:20,440
Get out of here, you old drunk.

365
00:29:25,863 --> 00:29:28,782
Surprise. Bang! Ha-ha-ha.

366
00:29:28,949 --> 00:29:30,825
Oh!

367
00:29:35,414 --> 00:29:37,415
No!

368
00:29:40,211 --> 00:29:41,878
I'm gonna give it to you straight.

369
00:29:42,046 --> 00:29:44,047
There's no point
beating around the bush.

370
00:29:44,215 --> 00:29:45,298
There were survivors.

371
00:29:45,758 --> 00:29:50,887
Apparently, the fallout
has created a subspecies, mutants.

372
00:29:51,972 --> 00:29:53,932
Mutants?

373
00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:57,894
Not a pretty sight.
Some eat out of garbage cans, others...

374
00:29:58,062 --> 00:30:00,230
Cover your ears, son, and hum.

375
00:30:00,398 --> 00:30:02,982
I mean that literally.
I mean it right now.

376
00:30:04,902 --> 00:30:08,530
Others are multisexual.

377
00:30:08,739 --> 00:30:13,076
It seems they can be both masculine
and feminine simultaneously.

378
00:30:13,244 --> 00:30:14,661
- No.
- Yes.

379
00:30:14,829 --> 00:30:16,371
- I don't believe it.
- Believe it.

380
00:30:16,539 --> 00:30:19,457
He tried to sell me his body, Helen.

381
00:30:19,625 --> 00:30:22,919
They offer lawn furniture as a come-on.

382
00:30:25,756 --> 00:30:26,965
All right.

383
00:30:27,133 --> 00:30:28,967
They have done a lot of rebuilding...

384
00:30:29,176 --> 00:30:32,387
though society, at least
as we know it, has totally collapsed.

385
00:30:32,555 --> 00:30:35,890
People throw up in the streets.
Others point guns.

386
00:30:36,100 --> 00:30:38,768
There's something terribly wrong
with the automobiles.

387
00:30:38,936 --> 00:30:43,148
I can't tell you the rest, I just can't.
Maybe someday.

388
00:30:43,315 --> 00:30:45,984
- So, what do we do now?
- We stay down here.

389
00:30:46,152 --> 00:30:48,278
- We do?
- Yes. We'll make do.

390
00:30:48,446 --> 00:30:50,905
We have clothes,
we have running water from a well.

391
00:30:51,073 --> 00:30:53,700
I am convinced these mutants
will kill each other off...

392
00:30:53,868 --> 00:30:57,370
No, Calvin, we won't make do.
Not me, not Adam.

393
00:30:57,538 --> 00:30:58,872
We're going up.

394
00:30:59,039 --> 00:31:01,458
I don't care how horrible it is.
We deserve it.

395
00:31:01,625 --> 00:31:04,961
- I am the head of this household.
- I want him to at least see the sky.

396
00:31:05,129 --> 00:31:07,756
- We will.
- The ocean, a mountain.

397
00:31:07,923 --> 00:31:10,216
Do as I say!

398
00:31:18,100 --> 00:31:19,768
- Dad?
- Ugh!

399
00:31:19,935 --> 00:31:21,478
- Son...!
- Oh, Adam.

400
00:31:21,645 --> 00:31:23,855
Oh, my goodness.
Let's get him to the bedroom.

401
00:31:25,232 --> 00:31:28,151
He seems to be doing all right now.

402
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,236
I don't know if he had a heart attack...

403
00:31:30,404 --> 00:31:33,907
or just a horrifying experience,
but we need supplies...

404
00:31:34,074 --> 00:31:36,159
and I've gotta stay with him.

405
00:31:36,327 --> 00:31:37,494
I'll go up.

406
00:31:38,287 --> 00:31:41,706
- I'm afraid you must.
- I'll be all right.

407
00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:44,459
My brave boy.

408
00:31:46,378 --> 00:31:50,131
Just act normal.
And if anyone asks, simply say:

409
00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:52,592
"I'm from out of town.
I'm here on business."

410
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,053
- Here on business.
- Write that down.

411
00:31:55,554 --> 00:31:58,181
Now, I'm gonna give you
a shopping list and some money.

412
00:31:58,349 --> 00:32:00,934
We'll need enough to get
through the next year or two.

413
00:32:01,101 --> 00:32:04,521
You'll find these items at what used
to be called a grocery store...

414
00:32:04,688 --> 00:32:06,898
or a hardware store. Write that down.

415
00:32:07,066 --> 00:32:10,068
I don't know how far
you'll have to travel to find supplies...

416
00:32:10,236 --> 00:32:14,280
but if you can't get home by nightfall,
I want you to look for a Holiday Inn.

417
00:32:14,448 --> 00:32:19,369
It's a hotel. Write that down.
There might still be one left standing.

418
00:32:19,537 --> 00:32:20,995
Oh.

419
00:32:21,372 --> 00:32:24,582
- Well, let's get you packed.
- Right.

420
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,626
Just hope this is still good up there.

421
00:32:26,794 --> 00:32:28,545
- Say, Mom?
- Yes, dear?

422
00:32:28,712 --> 00:32:30,421
I was wondering, um...

423
00:32:30,589 --> 00:32:33,550
you know, while I was up there
and all, I was thinking...

424
00:32:33,717 --> 00:32:37,178
Well, you know,
I was wondering if maybe I could, uh...

425
00:32:37,805 --> 00:32:39,639
meet a girl.

426
00:32:40,432 --> 00:32:44,477
I've been thinking about that a little.
Just these last 15 years or so.

427
00:32:44,687 --> 00:32:48,064
Oh, Adam, it would be wonderful
if you could meet a girl.

428
00:32:48,232 --> 00:32:51,109
One who's not a mutant
and hopefully comes from Pasadena.

429
00:32:51,277 --> 00:32:54,487
Nothing against Valley girls,
but in my day, anyhow...

430
00:32:54,655 --> 00:32:58,366
girls from Pasadena, I don't know,
just always seemed a little bit nicer.

431
00:32:58,534 --> 00:33:02,954
Oh, and, son, there's also something
called a liquor store.

432
00:33:03,122 --> 00:33:04,706
Write that down.

433
00:33:04,874 --> 00:33:06,749
Liquor store.

434
00:33:24,018 --> 00:33:25,685
Calvin?

435
00:33:31,859 --> 00:33:33,067
Son.

436
00:33:40,242 --> 00:33:41,618
Adam.

437
00:33:41,785 --> 00:33:43,036
Yes, Father?

438
00:33:43,203 --> 00:33:49,500
Don't forget:
Stay out of the adult bookstore.

439
00:33:50,085 --> 00:33:53,296
Adult bookstore. Why?

440
00:33:54,298 --> 00:33:58,468
Poison gas. Invisible.

441
00:34:00,095 --> 00:34:01,763
Don't forget.

442
00:34:01,931 --> 00:34:04,849
I promise. Is that all?

443
00:34:05,017 --> 00:34:06,559
Uh.

444
00:34:10,940 --> 00:34:12,106
One more thing.

445
00:34:14,443 --> 00:34:19,405
If you find a healthy young woman...

446
00:34:21,158 --> 00:34:23,117
bring her on down.

447
00:34:24,578 --> 00:34:25,954
Yes, sir.

448
00:34:26,538 --> 00:34:27,997
Uh.

449
00:34:48,477 --> 00:34:50,103
Are you all right?

450
00:34:50,270 --> 00:34:53,940
Yes, yes. Oh, Lord, yes.

451
00:34:54,108 --> 00:34:57,860
Are you the one who came last night
all in yellow?

452
00:34:58,070 --> 00:35:01,823
All in yellow? Oh, that was my father.

453
00:35:02,616 --> 00:35:04,659
Oh, of course. The father.

454
00:35:05,452 --> 00:35:10,123
Forgive me.
Can you forgive me for my wasted life?

455
00:35:10,332 --> 00:35:12,208
Everything has been so awful.

456
00:35:12,459 --> 00:35:15,294
I know, it has been terrible.

457
00:35:15,462 --> 00:35:17,630
But it's not your fault.

458
00:35:17,798 --> 00:35:21,217
And now that all the decay is over with,
things are going to get better.

459
00:35:21,844 --> 00:35:25,596
- You understand?
- Yes, yes.

460
00:35:27,683 --> 00:35:30,977
- Well, I have to go now.
- Of course, of course you do.

461
00:35:31,145 --> 00:35:35,106
- I'll stay here and pray.
- See, now, that's always a good idea.

462
00:35:35,315 --> 00:35:36,649
Yeah.

463
00:35:37,192 --> 00:35:38,651
How do I leave this place?

464
00:35:39,319 --> 00:35:41,029
Uh, the front door is open.

465
00:35:42,489 --> 00:35:44,365
Will you be back?

466
00:35:45,159 --> 00:35:46,492
I promise.

467
00:36:24,364 --> 00:36:25,782
What?

468
00:36:25,949 --> 00:36:27,575
What is it?

469
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:29,202
The sky.

470
00:36:29,870 --> 00:36:33,664
- The sky? Where?
- Up there.

471
00:36:34,208 --> 00:36:36,709
- I don't see anything.
- Just look.

472
00:36:36,919 --> 00:36:38,878
What is it?

473
00:36:39,046 --> 00:36:41,798
He says he sees something.

474
00:36:45,552 --> 00:36:46,969
- What is it?
- The sky.

475
00:36:47,179 --> 00:36:48,221
I see it, Mommy.

476
00:36:48,388 --> 00:36:52,058
I have never in my life
seen anything like it before.

477
00:36:52,768 --> 00:36:54,894
Or like you.

478
00:37:01,777 --> 00:37:03,069
What are you looking at?

479
00:37:03,237 --> 00:37:06,572
Oh, my lucky stars, a Negro.

480
00:37:06,782 --> 00:37:08,991
- Say what?
- How do you do, ma'am?

481
00:37:09,201 --> 00:37:10,827
I do all right.

482
00:37:11,036 --> 00:37:15,123
- Ha, ha. Good.
- Okay?

483
00:37:16,959 --> 00:37:19,127
What is it? What do you see?

484
00:37:19,294 --> 00:37:22,004
Oh, we were just looking at the...

485
00:37:22,172 --> 00:37:23,714
- Oh, no!
- What?

486
00:37:23,882 --> 00:37:27,093
Poisonous gas! Run for your life!
Run! Run! Run for your life!

487
00:37:27,261 --> 00:37:30,429
Invisible poisonous gas!

488
00:37:34,852 --> 00:37:36,352
- You know...
- Aah!

489
00:37:38,814 --> 00:37:40,857
I just wanna say...

490
00:37:41,525 --> 00:37:43,776
I think he's gonna be fine.

491
00:37:44,611 --> 00:37:47,697
Thank you, Calvin. Thank you very much.

492
00:37:47,865 --> 00:37:49,157
He's smart.

493
00:37:49,324 --> 00:37:51,617
Yes, dear, I know.

494
00:37:52,161 --> 00:37:54,954
But he's still such a baby.

495
00:37:55,122 --> 00:37:57,790
He's a man.

496
00:37:57,958 --> 00:37:59,709
He's a baby man.

497
00:38:00,669 --> 00:38:05,464
I tried to give the driver this,
but he wouldn't take it.

498
00:38:06,550 --> 00:38:08,634
Seems kind of angry.

499
00:38:09,136 --> 00:38:10,595
Lot of people do.

500
00:38:10,762 --> 00:38:13,848
Oh, boy. Here we go.

501
00:38:14,016 --> 00:38:16,601
Hold on, everyone. Hold on.

502
00:38:16,768 --> 00:38:18,811
Wow. Ha-ha-ha.

503
00:38:18,979 --> 00:38:21,105
So this is public transportation.

504
00:38:21,273 --> 00:38:24,775
My father says it becomes more and
more important because of pollution...

505
00:38:24,943 --> 00:38:29,113
which is more and more carbon dioxide
and other hazardous gases in the air.

506
00:38:30,365 --> 00:38:32,158
Do you have a gun, by the way?

507
00:38:35,162 --> 00:38:38,289
Oh. Well, thank you
for not waving it around.

508
00:38:38,457 --> 00:38:41,167
And for not vomiting, for that matter.

509
00:38:41,376 --> 00:38:44,503
Say, do you know
where I could find a grocery store?

510
00:38:44,922 --> 00:38:45,963
I have to find that.

511
00:38:46,131 --> 00:38:48,341
That and a hardware store
and a liquor store...

512
00:38:48,508 --> 00:38:51,010
- ... and a standing Holiday Inn.
- Uh... Uh...

513
00:38:51,178 --> 00:38:54,013
- ... there's a grocery store up the street.
- Where? Where?

514
00:38:54,181 --> 00:38:55,640
- Up there.
- Oh, thank you.

515
00:38:55,807 --> 00:38:59,477
Driver, please stop the bus immediately.
I wish to get off.

516
00:38:59,686 --> 00:39:02,480
- Please stop the bus, sir.
- Stop the bus!

517
00:39:06,235 --> 00:39:08,694
- Paper or plastic?
- Paper, please.

518
00:39:08,904 --> 00:39:10,529
Do you have a club card?

519
00:39:12,157 --> 00:39:13,199
Here you go.

520
00:39:13,367 --> 00:39:15,618
I need a price check on Register 4...

521
00:39:15,786 --> 00:39:17,453
Diet Dr Pepper six-pack.

522
00:39:21,416 --> 00:39:23,334
- Ah-ha!
- Ha.

523
00:39:27,381 --> 00:39:30,716
A manager to the front,
check approval, Register 1.

524
00:39:30,926 --> 00:39:31,968
Can I help you?

525
00:39:32,135 --> 00:39:35,388
Oh, yes. Uh, I'd like to get
some all-beef patties.

526
00:39:35,555 --> 00:39:36,722
Fresh or frozen?

527
00:39:37,683 --> 00:39:41,978
Come on. Frozen. How much are they?

528
00:39:42,229 --> 00:39:44,897
Frozen they're 6.30 a dozen
in a 3-pound box.

529
00:39:45,065 --> 00:39:47,358
Twelve into 900 is 75.

530
00:39:47,567 --> 00:39:50,987
That's almost $500
just for the hamburger.

531
00:39:51,154 --> 00:39:53,739
My mother only gave me $3000
for everything.

532
00:39:53,949 --> 00:39:55,825
The yacht batteries, the pipe tobacco...

533
00:39:55,993 --> 00:39:59,161
the diesel oil, the bleach,
the floss, the birthday candles...

534
00:39:59,329 --> 00:40:02,415
You could get a meat order that big
delivered to your home.

535
00:40:02,582 --> 00:40:04,500
- Really?
- Sure.

536
00:40:04,710 --> 00:40:07,253
Oh, well, that's terrific. Heh.

537
00:40:08,213 --> 00:40:11,465
Except it just occurred to me
that I don't know where home is.

538
00:40:13,260 --> 00:40:14,885
I'm lost.

539
00:40:15,053 --> 00:40:17,221
- Do you know where I live?
- No.

540
00:40:17,431 --> 00:40:19,849
- Will you please excuse me?
- Gladly.

541
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,184
Thank you.

542
00:40:46,626 --> 00:40:49,879
Driver, please stop the bus.

543
00:41:18,325 --> 00:41:20,659
- Hello.
- Hi.

544
00:41:20,827 --> 00:41:24,497
The name's Adam Webber,
and I see that you buy baseball cards.

545
00:41:24,664 --> 00:41:27,291
Although these are older
than the ones in the window...

546
00:41:27,459 --> 00:41:29,460
I was hoping
that you still might be interested.

547
00:41:29,628 --> 00:41:31,796
Uh... Oh, ahem.

548
00:41:31,963 --> 00:41:34,590
How much you want for this
Mickey Mantle rookie season?

549
00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:37,093
Well, I was hoping
to sell all of the cards.

550
00:41:37,302 --> 00:41:39,303
Really? No kidding?

551
00:41:39,471 --> 00:41:42,515
All I have are hundred-dollar bills.
I need something smaller.

552
00:41:42,682 --> 00:41:45,267
- You know, ones, tens, fives.
- I see what you mean.

553
00:41:45,435 --> 00:41:46,685
I'll tell you what.

554
00:41:46,853 --> 00:41:51,524
How about I give you $500
in small bills for the whole box?

555
00:41:53,193 --> 00:41:55,945
- That would be wonderful.
- Ah, shit.

556
00:41:58,031 --> 00:42:00,366
I'm working here, Evie-poo,
don't screw me up.

557
00:42:00,575 --> 00:42:03,786
Yeah, I can see you're working,
all right.

558
00:42:06,873 --> 00:42:08,290
Oh, you're French?

559
00:42:09,084 --> 00:42:13,045
No. I'm from out of town.
I'm here on business.

560
00:42:13,213 --> 00:42:15,506
Your business must not
be sports memorabilia...

561
00:42:15,674 --> 00:42:17,716
because this one Mantle card right here?

562
00:42:17,884 --> 00:42:21,053
Worth $6000 all by its itty-bitty self.

563
00:42:21,221 --> 00:42:24,181
- Get out of here.
- No, you get out of here.

564
00:42:24,391 --> 00:42:26,976
Terrific. You're fired,
you know that, huh?

565
00:42:27,185 --> 00:42:29,687
- I quit.
- No, no, no, I fired you.

566
00:42:29,896 --> 00:42:32,398
Just like the hair-salon guy
and the Chevy dealer.

567
00:42:32,649 --> 00:42:35,234
You know why
you can't keep a goddamn job?

568
00:42:35,402 --> 00:42:38,028
Because you can't keep
your goddamn mouth shut.

569
00:42:38,238 --> 00:42:40,239
Excuse me,
but I'd really appreciate it...

570
00:42:40,407 --> 00:42:42,992
if you wouldn't take
the Lord's name in vain again.

571
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:45,161
You got a problem with that, partner?

572
00:42:45,370 --> 00:42:48,664
Yes, I have a big problem with that.

573
00:42:49,708 --> 00:42:52,418
Come on, Heathcliff. I'll walk you out.

574
00:42:53,545 --> 00:42:56,422
Yes, ma'am, but my name's Adam.

575
00:42:56,590 --> 00:42:59,425
Ha! Adam and Eve, the perfect match.

576
00:42:59,593 --> 00:43:01,927
I hope the two of you
will be very happy together.

577
00:43:02,137 --> 00:43:03,429
Mazel-fucking-tov.

578
00:43:03,638 --> 00:43:05,723
And don't come back, neither,
Miss Big-Shot.

579
00:43:05,891 --> 00:43:08,559
I'm serious,
you're finished in the hobby business.

580
00:43:08,768 --> 00:43:11,604
- So where are we going?
- We? I'm going home.

581
00:43:11,771 --> 00:43:14,732
Judging by that coat, you have to
get back to barber college.

582
00:43:14,900 --> 00:43:16,108
No, I'm lost.

583
00:43:16,276 --> 00:43:18,235
- Ugh. You're lost?
- Uh-huh.

584
00:43:18,403 --> 00:43:21,280
Say, did you just lose your job
back there because of me?

585
00:43:21,448 --> 00:43:24,283
Oh, forget about it.
I'm sick of working for that dickhead.

586
00:43:24,451 --> 00:43:25,618
- Dickhead?
- Yes.

587
00:43:25,785 --> 00:43:28,412
A walking penis
capable of intelligent speech.

588
00:43:28,622 --> 00:43:30,247
A dickhead.

589
00:43:30,790 --> 00:43:33,626
- What is wrong with you?
- I just had this mental picture...

590
00:43:33,793 --> 00:43:36,212
Here, help me pick these up.

591
00:43:36,379 --> 00:43:39,256
Oh, thank you.

592
00:43:40,091 --> 00:43:43,219
- Where are you parked?
- I came on a bus.

593
00:43:43,386 --> 00:43:44,803
Why does that not surprise me?

594
00:43:44,971 --> 00:43:46,972
I don't know,
why doesn't it surprise you?

595
00:43:47,224 --> 00:43:49,642
Well, I guess because
I'm a little psychic.

596
00:43:49,809 --> 00:43:52,978
- I have this thing.
- Oh, that's nice.

597
00:43:53,188 --> 00:43:56,982
Yeah. Let me guess something.
This is your first visit to la-la land.

598
00:43:57,192 --> 00:43:59,652
You're staying in Hollywood
because like an idiot...

599
00:43:59,819 --> 00:44:02,571
you thought that would be exciting.
Am I right so far?

600
00:44:02,739 --> 00:44:04,740
- So far.
- Yes, I'm right?

601
00:44:04,950 --> 00:44:06,283
- Right.
- I knew it.

602
00:44:06,451 --> 00:44:08,494
You get on a bus,
and before you know it...

603
00:44:08,662 --> 00:44:11,622
you're stuck in the
San Fernando Valley without a clue.

604
00:44:11,790 --> 00:44:13,832
- Correct again?
- Again.

605
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,460
Where are you staying?

606
00:44:16,836 --> 00:44:18,128
The Holiday Inn.

607
00:44:18,296 --> 00:44:21,799
Whoa. Yes, yes, the Holiday Inn,
that's exactly right.

608
00:44:21,967 --> 00:44:25,344
See? I'm psychic. I mean,
not completely, but pretty much.

609
00:44:25,512 --> 00:44:29,098
- Pretty good, huh?
- No, it was amazing.

610
00:44:29,266 --> 00:44:30,641
Yeah, I know. Thanks.

611
00:44:30,809 --> 00:44:32,768
Anyhow, I'm gonna predict a bus for you.

612
00:44:32,936 --> 00:44:34,687
- You go down here...
- Do you own a car?

613
00:44:34,854 --> 00:44:37,606
Oh, no, sweetie.
Rule number one in North America:

614
00:44:37,774 --> 00:44:39,441
No strangers in the car.

615
00:44:39,609 --> 00:44:42,736
Well, if it'll make you feel any better,
I don't have a gun.

616
00:44:43,238 --> 00:44:44,280
Oh.

617
00:44:44,447 --> 00:44:47,783
Well, that changes everything.
Get away from me.

618
00:44:47,993 --> 00:44:49,994
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, I said something wrong.

619
00:44:50,161 --> 00:44:51,328
Please forgive me.

620
00:44:51,496 --> 00:44:53,455
- Get away from me.
- I'll make you a deal.

621
00:44:53,623 --> 00:44:56,750
I will give you a Rogers Hornsby
if you take me to the hotel.

622
00:44:59,296 --> 00:45:00,629
Rogers Hornsby?

623
00:45:01,214 --> 00:45:03,507
He's yours. I was holding him back.

624
00:45:03,717 --> 00:45:07,970
- Rogers Hornsby's worth like $4000.
- So what? I got two of them.

625
00:45:08,138 --> 00:45:13,309
And this many
Larry "Yogi" Berras and... And, uh...

626
00:45:13,518 --> 00:45:16,895
So for $4000, all I have to do
is drive you to your hotel?

627
00:45:17,063 --> 00:45:18,647
- Uh-huh. Yes.
- That's it?

628
00:45:18,815 --> 00:45:20,858
I don't have to take a physical
on your spaceship?

629
00:45:21,026 --> 00:45:23,736
No, ma'am. What?

630
00:45:31,036 --> 00:45:33,704
So, Mr. Andretti,
your first time on the freeway?

631
00:45:33,913 --> 00:45:35,914
It's Webber. Adam Webber.

632
00:45:36,082 --> 00:45:38,917
Mind if I change the station?
Better traffic reports on a.m.

633
00:45:39,085 --> 00:45:40,544
Sure.

634
00:45:40,712 --> 00:45:43,005
- Wait.
- What? What is it?

635
00:45:43,173 --> 00:45:45,174
Go back. You had him, it's Perry.

636
00:45:45,717 --> 00:45:47,843
- Perry?
- Perry Como.

637
00:45:48,011 --> 00:45:50,721
Go back, you had him. Go back, go back.

638
00:45:50,930 --> 00:45:54,266
- Back, back.
- Okay, okay.

639
00:45:54,434 --> 00:45:56,977
- That's it.
- There.

640
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,609
I could die right now.

641
00:46:03,860 --> 00:46:07,112
- Over this?
- Yeah.

642
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,949
Happy sound
As it goes along the ground

643
00:46:11,117 --> 00:46:12,785
Listen to this part.

644
00:46:12,952 --> 00:46:16,121
This is where it really takes off.
Wait for it.

645
00:46:16,331 --> 00:46:17,873
There.

646
00:46:18,041 --> 00:46:20,250
You'll hold her round, round, round

647
00:46:20,418 --> 00:46:23,462
You are one scary son of a gun.

648
00:46:24,798 --> 00:46:28,425
And your head
Goes spinning round, round, round

649
00:46:28,593 --> 00:46:31,553
'Cause you found
What you've been dreamin' of

650
00:46:36,976 --> 00:46:38,352
You better slow down.

651
00:46:38,561 --> 00:46:41,105
I can't help it.
Perry Como always does this to me.

652
00:46:41,272 --> 00:46:43,857
I just get so cranked.

653
00:46:44,818 --> 00:46:48,445
Makes a girl and boy wanna say

654
00:46:48,613 --> 00:46:50,698
- Find the ring
- Find the ring

655
00:46:50,865 --> 00:46:52,950
And put it round, round, round

656
00:46:56,496 --> 00:47:00,332
- Card, please, end of service.
- That was wonderful.

657
00:47:00,500 --> 00:47:03,001
I've never felt anything
like that before in my life.

658
00:47:03,169 --> 00:47:05,921
Yeah, same here.
Don't forget your suitcase.

659
00:47:07,424 --> 00:47:08,841
- Right.
- You know, Eve...

660
00:47:14,305 --> 00:47:15,806
Hello.

661
00:47:15,974 --> 00:47:18,308
- Hi.
- I would like to stay at this hotel.

662
00:47:18,518 --> 00:47:21,270
Fill this out, please,
and I'll need to see a card.

663
00:47:22,647 --> 00:47:25,357
- A card?
- Yes, sir.

664
00:47:25,984 --> 00:47:28,986
Oh, of course.

665
00:47:35,910 --> 00:47:38,704
Okay, then. Ugh.

666
00:47:38,872 --> 00:47:42,624
Bathroom's there,
TV's there, remote is on top.

667
00:47:42,792 --> 00:47:45,419
Room-service menu on the table.

668
00:47:46,421 --> 00:47:48,130
Wow.

669
00:47:58,892 --> 00:48:00,642
Oh, you, uh, dial nine to get out.

670
00:48:02,562 --> 00:48:03,687
Of what?

671
00:48:05,356 --> 00:48:06,815
The hotel.

672
00:48:08,526 --> 00:48:10,152
I see.

673
00:48:12,489 --> 00:48:15,073
Well, thank you.
You've been very, very helpful.

674
00:48:15,241 --> 00:48:17,409
I managed to get some change
downstairs...

675
00:48:17,577 --> 00:48:20,245
and my father taught me
in situations such as this...

676
00:48:20,413 --> 00:48:22,706
it's customary to give a tip.

677
00:48:22,874 --> 00:48:27,461
- Well, your father's a smart guy.
- My father's a genius.

678
00:48:29,464 --> 00:48:30,589
Okay.

679
00:48:30,757 --> 00:48:34,092
All right, well, uh, here's your key,
and good night, sir.

680
00:48:34,260 --> 00:48:35,928
Thank you. Good night, sleep tight.

681
00:48:36,095 --> 00:48:39,097
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
That's what my mom always says.

682
00:48:39,265 --> 00:48:42,059
Who I'm really beginning to miss,
by the way.

683
00:48:42,477 --> 00:48:45,521
I'm sorry.
It's my first night away from home.

684
00:48:46,856 --> 00:48:47,940
How old are you?

685
00:48:49,108 --> 00:48:50,859
Thirty-five.

686
00:48:51,444 --> 00:48:54,404
- You don't look 35.
- How old do I look?

687
00:48:54,572 --> 00:48:58,700
- Oh, 25, around there.
- Hmm.

688
00:48:58,993 --> 00:49:02,037
I guess living up here
makes people look older.

689
00:49:02,705 --> 00:49:04,540
Up here on the 18th floor?

690
00:49:05,542 --> 00:49:09,294
Yes, up here on the 18th floor.
Good night.

691
00:49:22,809 --> 00:49:24,226
Yes, you're absolutely right.

692
00:49:24,394 --> 00:49:26,311
What in the hell am I doing here?

693
00:49:26,479 --> 00:49:29,815
That's what I'd like to know.
Somebody tell me that.

694
00:49:30,525 --> 00:49:37,030
Natural oils, tropical fruits,
flora, nuts, and protective sunscreens.

695
00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:39,992
A complete sun-care line
created by one man...

696
00:49:42,328 --> 00:49:44,454
for one reason...

697
00:49:47,250 --> 00:49:48,333
Yes?

698
00:49:48,501 --> 00:49:51,003
Hi. This is the woman
from the baseball card store.

699
00:49:51,170 --> 00:49:53,255
- Remember me?
- Oh, yes.

700
00:49:53,423 --> 00:49:57,593
Hi. Hello. Hot diggity dog.

701
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:59,595
Thanks for calling me on the telephone.

702
00:50:06,519 --> 00:50:09,855
Ha. I'm so glad to see you.
I thought I'd never see you again.

703
00:50:10,064 --> 00:50:11,690
Yeah, okay, okay. Down, boy.

704
00:50:11,858 --> 00:50:14,860
Listen, I can't take this
for driving you home.

705
00:50:15,028 --> 00:50:16,570
I wish I could, but I can't.

706
00:50:16,738 --> 00:50:18,697
- So here, take it back.
- Uh-uh.

707
00:50:19,365 --> 00:50:22,117
I would've left it at the front desk,
but it's valuable.

708
00:50:22,327 --> 00:50:24,703
- I can't take that, it's yours.
- Take it, damn it.

709
00:50:24,871 --> 00:50:26,163
Okay.

710
00:50:26,372 --> 00:50:29,833
- Why are you doing that?
- Because I haven't brushed yet.

711
00:50:31,210 --> 00:50:35,047
Oh, okay.
Well, so long. Enjoy your visit.

712
00:50:35,214 --> 00:50:39,635
- Wait. Eve, please wait.
- Please, do not follow me. Don't do it.

713
00:50:39,802 --> 00:50:42,387
Oh, I knew this would happen.
You're like a lost puppy.

714
00:50:42,597 --> 00:50:44,348
Can't you talk to me for one second?

715
00:50:44,515 --> 00:50:47,684
- Just one little second, please?
- Okay.

716
00:50:47,852 --> 00:50:50,062
Damn. I should've
taken the money and run.

717
00:50:50,229 --> 00:50:53,607
That's what Troy told me to do,
but did I listen? No.

718
00:50:53,816 --> 00:50:55,192
Will you put your hand down?

719
00:50:56,819 --> 00:50:59,488
Who's Troy? Is he your husband?

720
00:50:59,697 --> 00:51:01,990
- Or a boyfriend?
- No.

721
00:51:02,617 --> 00:51:06,578
- Thank you!
- Stop that, don't do that.

722
00:51:06,746 --> 00:51:10,374
Listen, I know you like me, okay?
I can tell.

723
00:51:10,541 --> 00:51:13,585
But you know what?
A lot of guys like me.

724
00:51:13,753 --> 00:51:14,920
Not me exactly.

725
00:51:15,088 --> 00:51:18,507
More like my legs, my butt or my hair
or some combination of the above.

726
00:51:18,675 --> 00:51:20,092
I think it's the eyes.

727
00:51:20,885 --> 00:51:22,386
The eyes?

728
00:51:22,553 --> 00:51:25,764
Great, an eye man.
Anyhow, it never works out, okay?

729
00:51:25,932 --> 00:51:27,933
Not that you even need to know that.

730
00:51:28,101 --> 00:51:30,686
You look like crap.
What have you been doing?

731
00:51:30,853 --> 00:51:33,563
Watching television in color.

732
00:51:34,941 --> 00:51:36,900
In color? No kidding.

733
00:51:37,068 --> 00:51:41,863
- Mm-hm. Cross my heart, hope to die.
- Yeah. See you.

734
00:51:42,031 --> 00:51:44,408
- Why doesn't it ever work out?
- What?

735
00:51:44,575 --> 00:51:46,576
Why doesn't it ever work out,
you and men?

736
00:51:46,744 --> 00:51:49,287
Why? Who the hell knows?

737
00:51:49,455 --> 00:51:51,957
If you promise to leave me alone,
I'll tell you why.

738
00:51:52,166 --> 00:51:53,250
Okay.

739
00:51:53,418 --> 00:51:57,796
It never works out because I am into legs
and hair and butts myself, that's why.

740
00:51:57,964 --> 00:52:00,090
I wind up with guys
who are good-looking...

741
00:52:00,258 --> 00:52:03,135
but even more shallow than I am,
if you can picture that.

742
00:52:03,302 --> 00:52:05,887
Excuse me, I have to go find
another low-paying job...

743
00:52:06,055 --> 00:52:09,558
where some guy named Jerry keeps
telling me how lousy his marriage is.

744
00:52:09,726 --> 00:52:11,601
- Why not go to work for me?
- Doing what?

745
00:52:11,769 --> 00:52:13,729
Helping me sell all my baseball cards...

746
00:52:13,896 --> 00:52:16,898
and buying enough food and supplies
to fill several trucks.

747
00:52:17,066 --> 00:52:19,776
Food and supplies?
Who for, like, starving people?

748
00:52:19,944 --> 00:52:23,447
Oh, well, they're not starving yet,
but they do need help.

749
00:52:23,656 --> 00:52:26,992
- Well, how long would you need me for?
- Two weeks.

750
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:29,411
- What's the pay?
- What's fair?

751
00:52:29,620 --> 00:52:32,789
Well, I gotta make at least
a thousand dollars a week.

752
00:52:38,296 --> 00:52:39,588
You got it.

753
00:52:39,756 --> 00:52:42,007
- Wait here while I get changed.
- Sure.

754
00:52:45,428 --> 00:52:46,928
Sure.

755
00:52:53,019 --> 00:52:54,811
There you go.

756
00:52:55,021 --> 00:52:59,775
Why would someone need
26 yacht batteries?

757
00:52:59,942 --> 00:53:02,360
I don't know, I just work for the guy.

758
00:53:02,528 --> 00:53:04,863
And who does he work for, the CIA?

759
00:53:05,031 --> 00:53:07,282
Pipe tobacco. Ha-ha-ha.

760
00:53:07,950 --> 00:53:09,618
I'm gonna need all of this.

761
00:53:12,371 --> 00:53:14,206
Toilet paper.

762
00:53:16,375 --> 00:53:18,335
Is there a sale?

763
00:53:33,768 --> 00:53:37,062
Well, another day, another dollar.

764
00:53:43,152 --> 00:53:46,154
- Will you stop staring at me?
- Sorry.

765
00:53:46,656 --> 00:53:49,741
- I'll pick you up at 8 in the morning.
- Oh.

766
00:53:52,411 --> 00:53:55,580
- You know, Eve, I was thinking...
- Night.

767
00:53:55,915 --> 00:53:57,666
Night.

768
00:54:15,309 --> 00:54:18,770
We'll need to rent a refrigerated truck
for the beef and poultry.

769
00:54:18,938 --> 00:54:23,233
Well, it's your life.
And by the way, it's a dandy.

770
00:54:25,778 --> 00:54:28,238
Think we're also gonna have to get
another locker.

771
00:54:28,406 --> 00:54:31,283
It's no problem.
We'll just sell another baseball card.

772
00:54:33,077 --> 00:54:35,620
- Coming down.
- Okay.

773
00:54:39,292 --> 00:54:42,502
Ah, whoo. Ha-ha-ha.

774
00:54:44,630 --> 00:54:46,131
You know, Eve...

775
00:54:46,299 --> 00:54:48,884
And don't get mad, okay?

776
00:54:49,594 --> 00:54:52,637
But I would just be lost without you.

777
00:54:55,892 --> 00:54:57,225
Thanks.

778
00:54:58,311 --> 00:55:00,937
Ha-ha-ha. And I guess, uh...

779
00:55:01,606 --> 00:55:03,273
I guess that...

780
00:55:03,441 --> 00:55:06,568
- I think that you and I...
- Adam, don't even think about it, okay?

781
00:55:06,736 --> 00:55:08,862
I'm sorry, I know that sounds mean...

782
00:55:09,071 --> 00:55:11,865
but believe me, it'd be a lot meaner
if I didn't say it, okay?

783
00:55:12,033 --> 00:55:13,158
- Mm-hm.
- Okay?

784
00:55:13,326 --> 00:55:15,076
- Okay.
- Let's take this truck back...

785
00:55:15,244 --> 00:55:16,912
and I'm hungry.

786
00:55:20,124 --> 00:55:21,249
Are you getting in?

787
00:55:26,505 --> 00:55:28,465
There's something else
I'd like help with.

788
00:55:28,633 --> 00:55:29,674
Name it.

789
00:55:29,884 --> 00:55:32,510
I'm afraid this is gonna sound
a little bit crazy.

790
00:55:32,678 --> 00:55:35,639
- Heh. I'm sure it will.
- Then forget it.

791
00:55:35,848 --> 00:55:38,308
No, no. I'm sorry.

792
00:55:38,476 --> 00:55:39,601
What is it?

793
00:55:41,020 --> 00:55:44,689
Eve, I want you to help me find a wife.

794
00:55:44,941 --> 00:55:47,025
- A wife?
- Yes.

795
00:55:47,193 --> 00:55:50,445
- What for?
- Because I want to get married.

796
00:55:50,613 --> 00:55:52,030
Why?

797
00:55:52,198 --> 00:55:53,823
Because I don't want to be alone.

798
00:55:53,991 --> 00:55:58,370
Well, you can be single and not alone.
Marriage bites.

799
00:55:58,537 --> 00:56:00,538
- Bites what?
- The big one.

800
00:56:00,706 --> 00:56:03,291
- It does?
- Sure.

801
00:56:03,459 --> 00:56:06,836
- Oh, I didn't know that.
- Everybody knows that.

802
00:56:07,004 --> 00:56:11,049
Ask my divorced brothers
or my divorced mom and dad.

803
00:56:11,550 --> 00:56:13,176
Everybody knows that.

804
00:56:13,386 --> 00:56:16,638
- They're all divorced?
- Everybody's divorced.

805
00:56:18,432 --> 00:56:19,766
Wow.

806
00:56:21,352 --> 00:56:24,229
- What kind of wife you looking for?
- Hmm? Oh, um...

807
00:56:24,397 --> 00:56:27,649
Well, one who's not a mutant.

808
00:56:27,817 --> 00:56:31,486
Heh. No dogs, huh? Okay, cool.

809
00:56:32,822 --> 00:56:34,072
And if it's possible...

810
00:56:34,240 --> 00:56:36,741
I'd like to marry someone from Pasadena.

811
00:56:42,206 --> 00:56:44,708
Um, when do you need her by?

812
00:56:46,585 --> 00:56:47,711
Two weeks?

813
00:56:48,421 --> 00:56:50,463
I can probably get you laid
in two weeks...

814
00:56:50,673 --> 00:56:56,553
but to locate a non-mutant wife
from Pasadena could take some time.

815
00:56:57,179 --> 00:56:59,472
That's what I was afraid of.

816
00:57:04,729 --> 00:57:07,188
What do you mean, you can get me laid?

817
00:57:09,567 --> 00:57:12,193
- Uh, can we talk about that a little later?
- Of course.

818
00:57:12,361 --> 00:57:13,695
Great.

819
00:57:15,573 --> 00:57:18,033
Lord, bless this food
we are about to receive...

820
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,244
and make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.

821
00:57:21,454 --> 00:57:23,788
And bless my mom and bless my dad...

822
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:26,124
and bless my new friend Eve.

823
00:57:26,292 --> 00:57:27,959
Amen.

824
00:57:28,127 --> 00:57:30,045
Amen.

825
00:57:38,012 --> 00:57:39,804
- Get out.
- The engine is still running.

826
00:57:40,014 --> 00:57:41,639
Now. Get out.

827
00:57:41,807 --> 00:57:43,475
- Yes, ma'am.
- Stop the "ma'am" crap.

828
00:57:43,642 --> 00:57:45,143
I'm sorry.

829
00:57:45,770 --> 00:57:47,312
You almost got us killed.

830
00:57:47,563 --> 00:57:50,815
- I told you, I've never driven before.
- Well, never drive again.

831
00:57:51,067 --> 00:57:55,278
- You said it would be easy.
- Well, I was wrong.

832
00:57:55,446 --> 00:57:57,489
- Say, is this your house?
- Yes.

833
00:57:57,656 --> 00:58:00,617
- I like it.
- What are you bitching about now?

834
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,329
- What are you doing here?
- I forgot some of my stuff.

835
00:58:04,538 --> 00:58:06,081
- Your stuff?
- Yeah.

836
00:58:06,248 --> 00:58:08,166
Let me see that.

837
00:58:08,334 --> 00:58:10,168
Oh, you came back for your underwear.

838
00:58:10,336 --> 00:58:13,421
Excuse me, these are Ralph Laurens.

839
00:58:13,589 --> 00:58:15,632
How did you get in?

840
00:58:16,258 --> 00:58:18,009
Thanks.

841
00:58:18,177 --> 00:58:20,762
And who's this
interesting-looking fellow?

842
00:58:20,971 --> 00:58:24,808
- This is Adam. Adam, this is Cliff.
- How do you do?

843
00:58:24,975 --> 00:58:26,768
I do fine, Adam.

844
00:58:26,977 --> 00:58:30,814
How about yourself?
You, uh, doing any good lately?

845
00:58:31,023 --> 00:58:33,024
Go home, Cliff, wherever that might be.

846
00:58:33,192 --> 00:58:34,943
Sheena Gilroy's apartment.

847
00:58:35,111 --> 00:58:38,446
You remember her.
She's the, uh, model who went to Harvard.

848
00:58:39,573 --> 00:58:40,615
Hmm.

849
00:58:40,783 --> 00:58:43,952
Well, I'd better be going. Bye, Adam.

850
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:45,829
- Nice coat.
- Thank you, Cliff.

851
00:58:45,996 --> 00:58:50,041
- It was very nice to meet you.
- That's a nice parking job too.

852
00:58:50,209 --> 00:58:52,710
- May I ask you a question?
- He's a former boyfriend.

853
00:58:52,878 --> 00:58:56,798
We lived together for about six months,
and I still have sort of a thing for him.

854
00:58:56,966 --> 00:58:58,883
That's what you wanted to know,
isn't it?

855
00:58:59,093 --> 00:59:00,552
No, I was gonna ask you...

856
00:59:00,719 --> 00:59:03,388
why Cliff likes to wear
another man's underpants.

857
00:59:03,597 --> 00:59:04,722
What?

858
00:59:13,190 --> 00:59:15,275
Rhinoceros

859
00:59:17,403 --> 00:59:18,987
Rhinoceros

860
00:59:19,155 --> 00:59:22,157
This guy is unbelievable.

861
00:59:22,324 --> 00:59:23,366
I knew you'd like him.

862
00:59:23,534 --> 00:59:25,910
I know. It's like he's
from X-Files or something.

863
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,746
He's got all these
easily negotiable properties, right?

864
00:59:28,914 --> 00:59:30,748
He's obviously setting up something big.

865
00:59:30,916 --> 00:59:33,251
Maybe a self-sustaining island
off South America.

866
00:59:33,419 --> 00:59:38,047
Maybe he's the leader of some cult into
practices involving poultry and tobacco.

867
00:59:39,508 --> 00:59:42,469
You just wake up

868
00:59:43,637 --> 00:59:44,679
Rhinoceros

869
00:59:44,847 --> 00:59:48,433
- You have very nice ceilings.
- Do I?

870
00:59:49,101 --> 00:59:52,896
Well, you like ceilings?

871
00:59:53,063 --> 00:59:55,023
Not particularly.

872
00:59:55,608 --> 00:59:59,736
Ah. Well, I hope you like this. It's sea
urchin wrapped in seaweed, or nori.

873
00:59:59,904 --> 01:00:00,945
I love sushi.

874
01:00:01,780 --> 01:00:05,783
- I love Lucy.
- Who doesn't? She's hilarious.

875
01:00:06,410 --> 01:00:10,163
- Here you go, one champagne cocktail.
- Oh, thank you.

876
01:00:10,372 --> 01:00:12,415
I thought only hookers
drank those things.

877
01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:14,792
Well, I know Mom sure likes them.

878
01:00:19,298 --> 01:00:21,841
Well, dinner's in 15.
Why don't we sit down and chat?

879
01:00:22,009 --> 01:00:23,343
Mm-hm.

880
01:00:23,511 --> 01:00:27,764
- So, Troy, what do you do for a living?
- Oh, I design websites.

881
01:00:27,932 --> 01:00:29,516
Mm.

882
01:00:29,683 --> 01:00:31,559
And, Adam...

883
01:00:31,727 --> 01:00:33,311
where on earth are you from?

884
01:00:33,479 --> 01:00:36,981
- Out of town. That's all he'll say.
- Mm-hm. It's a very small place.

885
01:00:37,233 --> 01:00:40,818
- People don't even know it's there.
- And it's called?

886
01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:43,154
Maybe Eve can guess.

887
01:00:43,322 --> 01:00:45,490
- She's psychic.
- Is she?

888
01:00:45,991 --> 01:00:49,786
- Since when?
- Since I got rear-ended in Palm Springs.

889
01:00:49,995 --> 01:00:53,498
Well, then, Miss Dionne Warwick,
tell us what town he's from.

890
01:00:53,707 --> 01:00:55,917
All right. Give me your hand.

891
01:00:57,336 --> 01:00:59,504
Oh, Lord.

892
01:00:59,672 --> 01:01:01,256
Okay.

893
01:01:01,423 --> 01:01:02,840
I'm not promising anything.

894
01:01:05,469 --> 01:01:07,720
- Are you okay?
- Hmm? Mm.

895
01:01:11,350 --> 01:01:13,434
I see snow.

896
01:01:14,603 --> 01:01:16,729
Lots of snow.

897
01:01:16,939 --> 01:01:18,815
Way up north.

898
01:01:18,983 --> 01:01:20,608
Are we getting hot?

899
01:01:21,485 --> 01:01:23,194
Yes.

900
01:01:25,322 --> 01:01:27,198
You live in Alaska...

901
01:01:27,366 --> 01:01:30,326
and the only way in and out
of your place is by plane.

902
01:01:31,370 --> 01:01:34,330
And, uh, you definitely came here
for food and supplies...

903
01:01:34,498 --> 01:01:36,624
and to find a wife.

904
01:01:37,042 --> 01:01:38,543
Wow.

905
01:01:39,545 --> 01:01:42,755
- That was right?
- Got goose bumps all over me.

906
01:01:42,965 --> 01:01:44,549
I'm clairvoyant, butthead.

907
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:48,303
Well, why wouldn't you just go to Nome
to get supplies and a wife?

908
01:01:48,470 --> 01:01:50,555
- Isn't that a lot closer?
- Yeah, right.

909
01:01:50,764 --> 01:01:54,309
That's where you'd go to find girls.
Nome.

910
01:01:54,476 --> 01:01:56,227
He's gay, by the way.

911
01:01:57,354 --> 01:01:59,188
Well, good for you.

912
01:02:00,399 --> 01:02:02,483
Well, we try.

913
01:02:02,651 --> 01:02:04,152
Can I ask you some questions?

914
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:05,653
Hmm?

915
01:02:05,821 --> 01:02:09,198
- When did Alaska become a state?
- 1959.

916
01:02:09,408 --> 01:02:11,743
Okay, and, uh, who owned it
before we did?

917
01:02:12,244 --> 01:02:14,704
- Russia.
- And when did we get it from them?

918
01:02:14,913 --> 01:02:16,581
1867, Seward's Folly.

919
01:02:16,790 --> 01:02:21,044
We purchased it for $7.2 million,
a tidy sum then as well as now.

920
01:02:21,211 --> 01:02:23,296
I'm quoting my father, of course.

921
01:02:23,505 --> 01:02:26,090
- All right, what's the state capital?
- Juneau.

922
01:02:26,300 --> 01:02:28,718
Hello? It's Anchorage. Gotcha.

923
01:02:28,927 --> 01:02:31,888
Mm-mm. Sorry, that's the largest city.

924
01:02:38,604 --> 01:02:39,937
Where's he going?

925
01:02:40,105 --> 01:02:42,940
He's going to check your answers
on his computer.

926
01:02:43,108 --> 01:02:44,609
He has a computer?

927
01:02:44,860 --> 01:02:46,778
- Sure.
- In the house?

928
01:02:47,196 --> 01:02:48,946
No, actually, it's in the back yard.

929
01:02:49,114 --> 01:02:52,617
- Of course it's in the house. It's in there.
- May I be excused, please?

930
01:02:52,785 --> 01:02:55,411
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

931
01:03:43,544 --> 01:03:45,002
Aah!

932
01:03:45,796 --> 01:03:47,380
Who are you?

933
01:03:48,674 --> 01:03:52,009
- I'm the mother.
- It's the mother.

934
01:03:52,177 --> 01:03:54,637
It's the mother. The mother.

935
01:03:54,805 --> 01:04:00,184
The mother, the mother, the mother.

936
01:04:00,436 --> 01:04:02,937
It's the mother.

937
01:04:09,778 --> 01:04:13,281
Troy, I suppose those tall buildings
we saw this morning are new?

938
01:04:13,449 --> 01:04:15,700
Yeah. Almost all of them, anyway.

939
01:04:15,909 --> 01:04:19,203
- Recovery's impressive.
- Recovery? Oh, yeah.

940
01:04:19,413 --> 01:04:22,290
Well, you know, they rebuilt
the freeway in only six months.

941
01:04:22,458 --> 01:04:24,041
- Really?
- Uh-huh.

942
01:04:24,209 --> 01:04:26,210
That's amazing. I'm very impressed.

943
01:04:26,378 --> 01:04:28,713
- Oh, it was impressive.
- Are you sure I look okay?

944
01:04:28,922 --> 01:04:31,716
- Oh, trust me, you look fabulous.
- Well, thank you, Troy.

945
01:04:33,510 --> 01:04:36,053
- Hey.
- Hey.

946
01:04:37,931 --> 01:04:40,224
So, what do you think?

947
01:04:41,393 --> 01:04:43,186
- It works.
- Mm-hm. I should show you...

948
01:04:43,353 --> 01:04:44,729
the entire trousseau.

949
01:04:44,897 --> 01:04:46,856
Shirts, sweaters, socks,
the whole thing.

950
01:04:47,024 --> 01:04:49,233
No. First let's show her these.

951
01:04:50,402 --> 01:04:52,862
Huh? Eve, can I skate around your block?

952
01:04:54,782 --> 01:04:58,326
How about it, Eve?
Can he skate around your block?

953
01:04:59,077 --> 01:05:00,244
No.

954
01:05:00,704 --> 01:05:04,707
- Just a few laps.
- It won't take long.

955
01:05:04,875 --> 01:05:06,709
Ha, ha. No.

956
01:05:23,268 --> 01:05:24,769
Look.

957
01:05:35,572 --> 01:05:37,532
Adam, will you go skate
on the bike path?

958
01:05:37,699 --> 01:05:40,910
- Where?
- The bike path. It's over there.

959
01:05:43,205 --> 01:05:44,997
God, I wish I could wear those pants.

960
01:06:06,895 --> 01:06:08,479
Hi.

961
01:06:58,196 --> 01:07:01,073
Yeah! Ha, ha!

962
01:07:04,161 --> 01:07:07,204
Yeah!

963
01:07:15,255 --> 01:07:17,173
Y.M.C.A.

964
01:07:17,341 --> 01:07:22,011
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

965
01:07:22,179 --> 01:07:25,848
They have everything
For you men to enjoy

966
01:07:26,016 --> 01:07:28,476
You can hang out with all the boys

967
01:07:28,644 --> 01:07:32,274
Its fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

968
01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:35,942
Its fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

969
01:07:37,402 --> 01:07:40,780
You can get yourself clean
You can have a good meal

970
01:07:40,948 --> 01:07:44,408
You can do whatever you feel

971
01:07:44,576 --> 01:07:46,410
All right, girl, hit that ball.

972
01:07:56,755 --> 01:08:00,424
I get it. I finally get it.

973
01:08:00,592 --> 01:08:03,344
You have to see it to understand it.

974
01:08:05,263 --> 01:08:08,140
Because he must.

975
01:08:17,943 --> 01:08:19,568
Haven't you heard the saying:

976
01:08:19,736 --> 01:08:22,571
"He hasn't got enough sense
to come in out of the rain"?

977
01:08:22,739 --> 01:08:23,864
Yep.

978
01:08:24,032 --> 01:08:28,786
You know, my father,
who is a scientist...

979
01:08:28,954 --> 01:08:31,455
says that everything is a miracle.

980
01:08:31,665 --> 01:08:33,582
- Yeah?
- Everything.

981
01:08:33,750 --> 01:08:36,961
Until recently,
I wasn't sure what he meant by that.

982
01:08:37,129 --> 01:08:40,464
No kidding. Listen, uh, you still
wanna go girl hunting tonight?

983
01:08:40,674 --> 01:08:44,301
- Oh, yes, I certainly do.
- Okay.

984
01:08:44,469 --> 01:08:47,304
But, you know, this whole business
of finding you a wife...

985
01:08:47,472 --> 01:08:48,723
it's pretty ridiculous.

986
01:08:48,890 --> 01:08:51,809
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.

987
01:08:51,977 --> 01:08:53,978
A girlfriend, maybe, but a wife, it's...

988
01:08:54,187 --> 01:08:56,939
Well, then help me find a girlfriend.
That's all I ask.

989
01:08:57,107 --> 01:08:59,984
I'll tell you what. I'll give you
every single card I've got.

990
01:09:00,193 --> 01:09:02,903
Screw you. You think I'm just
somebody you can buy off?

991
01:09:03,071 --> 01:09:06,490
Oh, no, Eve, I didn't mean that at all.
Eve, you're my best friend.

992
01:09:06,700 --> 01:09:10,161
Would you do it
because you're my very best friend?

993
01:09:12,831 --> 01:09:14,665
Yeah, okay.

994
01:09:19,004 --> 01:09:20,838
Thank you, Eve.

995
01:09:28,847 --> 01:09:31,766
Well, why did we park way back there?

996
01:09:32,350 --> 01:09:36,187
Miss Rustokov does not allow
total strangers to drive her car.

997
01:09:38,023 --> 01:09:39,857
- What?
- Ladies first, Troy.

998
01:09:40,025 --> 01:09:42,359
- That was close.
- Uh-huh.

999
01:09:42,778 --> 01:09:46,155
My goodness gracious,
this place is something.

1000
01:09:46,323 --> 01:09:49,658
- Look unimpressed.
- Yeah, bored, even.

1001
01:09:50,869 --> 01:09:53,370
Try vaguely bored.

1002
01:09:53,538 --> 01:09:56,624
Unimpressed but still interested.

1003
01:09:58,126 --> 01:09:59,543
- Not crazy.
- Do I look crazy?

1004
01:09:59,711 --> 01:10:03,672
- Yes.
- Just, uh, be loose.

1005
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:05,549
- Yeah.
- Just be yourself.

1006
01:10:05,717 --> 01:10:07,218
Yeah, that's always good advice.

1007
01:10:07,385 --> 01:10:10,179
Well, for him.
It doesn't work for the rest of us.

1008
01:10:13,391 --> 01:10:16,644
Of all the clubs in all the towns
in all the world...

1009
01:10:16,812 --> 01:10:18,354
you walk into mine.

1010
01:10:18,563 --> 01:10:22,650
So welcome to Club 40's,
where the party never stops.

1011
01:10:22,818 --> 01:10:25,402
Jason, Jonathan, this is Adam.
Adam, that's them.

1012
01:10:25,570 --> 01:10:26,737
Hi, how do you do?

1013
01:10:26,905 --> 01:10:30,366
It's very nice to meet you,
Jason and Jonathan.

1014
01:10:30,534 --> 01:10:33,327
My mother said when you meet
someone for the first time...

1015
01:10:33,495 --> 01:10:35,412
it's easier to remember their names...

1016
01:10:35,580 --> 01:10:39,416
if you use those names right away,
Jason and Jonathan.

1017
01:10:39,918 --> 01:10:41,544
He's from Alaska.

1018
01:10:42,254 --> 01:10:43,754
Oh.

1019
01:10:44,548 --> 01:10:47,258
Hi there, Eve. Who's the hunk?

1020
01:10:47,425 --> 01:10:50,177
- Get lost, Sophie.
- Hi, I'm Sophie.

1021
01:10:50,387 --> 01:10:52,054
Hi, how do you do? I'm Adam Webber.

1022
01:10:52,222 --> 01:10:54,640
- Adam lives in Alaska.
- No shit?

1023
01:10:58,770 --> 01:11:00,646
Oh, you speak beautiful French.

1024
01:11:17,831 --> 01:11:19,832
Adam. Adam.

1025
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:21,292
Yeah? Oh, um...

1026
01:11:24,462 --> 01:11:26,422
Quit showing off.
We're here on business.

1027
01:11:26,590 --> 01:11:29,091
- I thought we were here to meet women.
- Not that one.

1028
01:11:29,259 --> 01:11:30,301
I like her.

1029
01:11:30,468 --> 01:11:32,595
Tell me, Sophie,
when you fly to Paris...

1030
01:11:32,762 --> 01:11:35,764
do you check these,
or are they carry-on?

1031
01:11:35,932 --> 01:11:38,434
- They're carry-on.
- Ah.

1032
01:11:39,853 --> 01:11:41,437
Excuse me.

1033
01:11:41,605 --> 01:11:43,898
But there's nothin' up my sleeve

1034
01:11:44,065 --> 01:11:47,735
But a place to play
Where the people all swing around

1035
01:11:47,903 --> 01:11:49,612
What are you drinking?

1036
01:11:49,779 --> 01:11:52,990
Oh, this is a Rob Roy.
It's a very popular drink, I'm told.

1037
01:11:55,660 --> 01:11:57,745
How about her?

1038
01:11:57,913 --> 01:12:00,289
- No way.
- No way?

1039
01:12:00,498 --> 01:12:02,833
Why not? I think she's very attractive.

1040
01:12:03,001 --> 01:12:06,170
Adam, she's got "bitch"
written all over her.

1041
01:12:06,421 --> 01:12:09,173
You do know what "bitch" means,
don't you?

1042
01:12:09,382 --> 01:12:11,342
Well, yes, I do. I do have a dictionary.

1043
01:12:11,509 --> 01:12:15,304
But I can't understand for the life of me
why you would say that about her...

1044
01:12:15,513 --> 01:12:18,182
or why Cliff would say that about you.

1045
01:12:20,018 --> 01:12:26,023
Okay, uh, Adam, I think for you,
we should aim for sweet.

1046
01:12:26,775 --> 01:12:28,359
Okay. I like that.

1047
01:12:28,526 --> 01:12:31,362
Yeah, sweet.
That's a lovely way of putting it.

1048
01:12:33,448 --> 01:12:36,533
There's Miss Sweet, over there
by the hors d'oeuvre table, look.

1049
01:12:36,701 --> 01:12:39,036
Oh, yeah, yeah. Could be.

1050
01:12:39,204 --> 01:12:43,165
Yeah, go on, Romeo, say hello.
She looks like a non-mutant to me.

1051
01:12:43,333 --> 01:12:45,542
Okay. All right.

1052
01:12:45,710 --> 01:12:47,127
What do I say to her?

1053
01:12:47,337 --> 01:12:51,966
Oh, say something surprising,
something funny.

1054
01:12:52,133 --> 01:12:53,634
Lie if need be.

1055
01:12:53,843 --> 01:12:55,636
- Lie?
- Oh, yeah.

1056
01:12:55,804 --> 01:12:59,223
Lying can be a very effective
dating tool.

1057
01:13:01,476 --> 01:13:04,228
Okay. All right.

1058
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:06,563
Well, here I go.

1059
01:13:09,067 --> 01:13:10,734
I don't think I wanna watch this.

1060
01:13:10,986 --> 01:13:12,653
Surprising and funny.

1061
01:13:12,821 --> 01:13:15,572
Well, I know a duck
who bought some lip balm.

1062
01:13:16,199 --> 01:13:17,574
Lie.

1063
01:13:19,744 --> 01:13:21,245
Hi.

1064
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:24,748
- Yes?
- I was wondering if you could help me.

1065
01:13:24,916 --> 01:13:27,084
I, um, seem to have lost...

1066
01:13:27,252 --> 01:13:31,088
my Congressional Medal of Honor
around here somewhere.

1067
01:13:31,965 --> 01:13:34,341
Ha, ha. Now, that's a great one.

1068
01:13:37,220 --> 01:13:40,848
- This is my new friend.
- Uh, hi.

1069
01:13:41,016 --> 01:13:44,518
- Adam Webber.
- Hi, I'm Heather.

1070
01:13:44,686 --> 01:13:45,894
- Heather?
- Yeah.

1071
01:13:46,062 --> 01:13:48,772
I don't believe
I've ever heard that name before.

1072
01:13:53,528 --> 01:13:54,737
Yeah, do you dance?

1073
01:13:54,904 --> 01:13:57,281
Why, I took a dance lesson
every day of my life...

1074
01:13:57,449 --> 01:13:59,241
up until a couple of days ago.

1075
01:13:59,409 --> 01:14:01,201
- You're kidding.
- No, no, I did.

1076
01:14:03,079 --> 01:14:04,121
Shall we dance?

1077
01:14:04,289 --> 01:14:05,622
- Sure.
- Yeah?

1078
01:14:09,294 --> 01:14:11,628
Wait for me.

1079
01:14:42,994 --> 01:14:45,496
He drives a great big car
Smokes a big cigar

1080
01:14:45,663 --> 01:14:48,165
He looks like a king
And he acts like a star

1081
01:14:48,333 --> 01:14:50,876
When we see him drive by
He goes "toot, toot"

1082
01:14:51,044 --> 01:14:52,836
We all shout
Hey, Mr. Zoot Suit

1083
01:14:53,004 --> 01:14:55,756
He's got purple suspenders
And a yellow tie

1084
01:14:55,924 --> 01:14:58,801
- Say what?
- Come on, boys, I tell you no lie

1085
01:14:58,968 --> 01:15:00,844
Those hats, those funky spats

1086
01:15:01,012 --> 01:15:03,514
He's the hippest hip and the coolest cat

1087
01:15:03,681 --> 01:15:06,058
I tell you no lie
This guy can't be beat

1088
01:15:06,226 --> 01:15:08,227
Wherever he goes
He turns up the heat

1089
01:15:08,395 --> 01:15:11,105
So when you see him drive by
With that big cheroot

1090
01:15:11,272 --> 01:15:14,650
Don't forget to shout
Hey, Mr. Zoot Suit!

1091
01:15:37,257 --> 01:15:39,508
I tell you no lie
This guy can't be beat

1092
01:15:39,676 --> 01:15:41,885
Wherever he goes
He turns up the heat

1093
01:15:42,053 --> 01:15:44,555
So when you see him drive by
With that big cheroot

1094
01:15:44,722 --> 01:15:47,641
Don't forget to shout
Hey, Mr. Zoot Suit!

1095
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,961
Oh.

1096
01:16:20,216 --> 01:16:24,178
- Is that your girlfriend?
- No, no. Will you please excuse me?

1097
01:16:24,387 --> 01:16:27,764
- What are you doing?
- You. You go to the bathroom.

1098
01:16:27,932 --> 01:16:30,767
What, right here?
Well, I thought I should check.

1099
01:16:30,935 --> 01:16:32,853
- I mean, you're being so bossy.
- Go.

1100
01:16:33,062 --> 01:16:35,647
- Thank you both for the dance.
- Thank you.

1101
01:16:40,945 --> 01:16:43,614
I have to go to the bathroom.

1102
01:16:44,365 --> 01:16:45,741
Oh.

1103
01:16:46,576 --> 01:16:49,745
- You wanted to see me?
- You're not from Alaska.

1104
01:16:49,913 --> 01:16:51,747
Where did you learn to dance like that?

1105
01:16:51,956 --> 01:16:54,458
And there are no starving people,
are there?

1106
01:16:54,626 --> 01:16:56,126
Why are you so angry with me?

1107
01:16:56,294 --> 01:16:59,880
- You think I'm some kind of sap, do you?
- No, I don't.

1108
01:17:00,048 --> 01:17:01,298
I admire you.

1109
01:17:01,466 --> 01:17:03,884
I fell in love with you
the very moment I saw you.

1110
01:17:04,052 --> 01:17:05,969
I want you to stop lying to me.

1111
01:17:07,555 --> 01:17:10,098
All right. I'll tell you everything.

1112
01:17:10,308 --> 01:17:13,602
- In 1962...
- Well, well, well.

1113
01:17:13,811 --> 01:17:15,187
Don't we clean up nice?

1114
01:17:16,981 --> 01:17:19,107
Well, hello, Cliff.

1115
01:17:19,317 --> 01:17:22,152
- How are you this evening?
- Not bad.

1116
01:17:22,320 --> 01:17:24,905
Though I, uh, do miss
that green sport coat of yours.

1117
01:17:25,073 --> 01:17:26,323
Oh, why, thank you, Cliff.

1118
01:17:26,491 --> 01:17:28,492
But that's my seat,
and I was just about...

1119
01:17:28,660 --> 01:17:30,327
How about a drink up at the bar?

1120
01:17:38,127 --> 01:17:39,586
Sure.

1121
01:17:39,754 --> 01:17:41,588
Excuse us.

1122
01:17:42,298 --> 01:17:44,007
It's all yours.

1123
01:18:14,372 --> 01:18:16,665
- Please excuse this interruption.
- Oh, brother.

1124
01:18:16,833 --> 01:18:19,876
Eve, I don't mean to be rude,
and, Cliff, please excuse me...

1125
01:18:20,044 --> 01:18:23,046
but, Eve,
isn't Cliff just a butt with hair?

1126
01:18:23,256 --> 01:18:24,715
- What?
- I'm sorry.

1127
01:18:24,882 --> 01:18:27,634
And legs. Legs, butt and hair.

1128
01:18:27,844 --> 01:18:29,970
- And shallow as well?
- Shallow?

1129
01:18:30,179 --> 01:18:31,888
Adam, why don't you go home?

1130
01:18:32,056 --> 01:18:34,975
- Go back to the hotel.
- Yeah, before I kick your ass.

1131
01:18:36,561 --> 01:18:39,187
I must warn you, Cliff,
I do know how to defend myself.

1132
01:18:39,355 --> 01:18:40,981
Oh, do you?

1133
01:18:41,983 --> 01:18:43,317
- Agh!
- Stop it, you two.

1134
01:18:43,526 --> 01:18:45,193
Nice move, really.

1135
01:18:45,403 --> 01:18:48,363
Yeah, Eve's right.
Maybe we shouldn't fight in here.

1136
01:18:48,531 --> 01:18:50,282
I agree.

1137
01:18:51,743 --> 01:18:53,619
- Ugh.
- Adam.

1138
01:18:53,786 --> 01:18:56,163
I'm sorry. He was gonna...

1139
01:18:56,831 --> 01:18:58,373
Maybe we shouldn't fight at all.

1140
01:18:58,541 --> 01:19:01,376
I mean, fighting's pretty immature
when you think about it.

1141
01:19:01,544 --> 01:19:05,756
- It certainly is.
- Eve, I'm leaving.

1142
01:19:05,923 --> 01:19:08,425
- That's probably a good idea.
- Eve, I'm sorry.

1143
01:19:08,593 --> 01:19:11,011
- Oh!
- Gah.

1144
01:19:12,055 --> 01:19:15,724
Well, good night, everyone.

1145
01:19:17,393 --> 01:19:19,353
- Eve...
- I'm leaving too, okay?

1146
01:19:19,562 --> 01:19:20,687
And you know what?

1147
01:19:20,855 --> 01:19:22,939
If you want help, ask Troy,
because I quit.

1148
01:19:23,191 --> 01:19:28,111
This is ridiculous.
You're ridiculous and I'm ridiculous.

1149
01:19:31,949 --> 01:19:34,701
I'll buy you another Rob Roy,
huh, champ?

1150
01:19:35,119 --> 01:19:36,828
Rob Roy for the gentleman.

1151
01:19:43,211 --> 01:19:44,628
Well?

1152
01:19:45,046 --> 01:19:46,630
He go back to the hotel?

1153
01:19:46,881 --> 01:19:50,050
- Um, he might have.
- What does that mean?

1154
01:19:50,218 --> 01:19:52,636
That means
that we did not leave together.

1155
01:19:52,845 --> 01:19:54,262
Well, who did he leave with?

1156
01:19:54,430 --> 01:19:57,391
- What's that to you?
- I'm his pimp.

1157
01:19:57,558 --> 01:20:00,227
He left with those dancers, didn't he?

1158
01:20:01,145 --> 01:20:02,437
You're the psychic.

1159
01:20:02,605 --> 01:20:05,774
Eve, the psychic pimp. You tell me.

1160
01:20:05,942 --> 01:20:08,777
- Those sluts.
- Yeah.

1161
01:20:08,945 --> 01:20:11,863
Then again,
who isn't a slut these days, huh?

1162
01:20:13,449 --> 01:20:15,117
- Where are you going?
- To bed.

1163
01:20:15,284 --> 01:20:16,743
To bed?

1164
01:20:16,911 --> 01:20:18,787
Sure, to bed.

1165
01:20:18,955 --> 01:20:21,331
I'm not the one
that's in love with the guy.

1166
01:20:21,499 --> 01:20:23,667
- What? Oh.
- Mm-hm.

1167
01:20:23,835 --> 01:20:27,337
Now, hold on. Hold on just a minute.

1168
01:20:27,505 --> 01:20:30,257
In the first place,
I do not fall in love with weirdos...

1169
01:20:30,425 --> 01:20:32,592
who I've only known
for four or five days.

1170
01:20:32,760 --> 01:20:33,844
Yes, you do.

1171
01:20:34,011 --> 01:20:37,180
And I don't fall in love with grown men
who collect baseball cards.

1172
01:20:37,390 --> 01:20:38,432
Yes, you do.

1173
01:20:38,599 --> 01:20:40,767
Or pee in their pants
when they see the ocean.

1174
01:20:40,935 --> 01:20:43,770
- Yes, you do.
- Or have perfect table manners.

1175
01:20:43,938 --> 01:20:46,189
You know, I asked him about that.

1176
01:20:46,441 --> 01:20:49,276
He said good manners
are just a way of showing people...

1177
01:20:49,444 --> 01:20:51,027
that we have respect for them.

1178
01:20:51,279 --> 01:20:54,406
I didn't know that. I thought
it was a way of acting superior.

1179
01:20:54,615 --> 01:20:57,325
- Oh, you know what else he told me?
- What?

1180
01:20:57,535 --> 01:21:00,162
He thinks I'm a gentleman
and you're a lady.

1181
01:21:02,999 --> 01:21:05,625
Well... Well, consider the source.

1182
01:21:06,210 --> 01:21:08,295
- I don't even know what a lady is.
- I know.

1183
01:21:08,463 --> 01:21:11,047
I thought a gentleman
was somebody that owned horses.

1184
01:21:11,215 --> 01:21:15,177
But it turns out the short and simple
definition of a lady or a gentleman...

1185
01:21:15,470 --> 01:21:17,637
is someone who always tries
to make sure...

1186
01:21:17,805 --> 01:21:21,725
the people around him or her
are as comfortable as possible.

1187
01:21:21,893 --> 01:21:24,227
Where do you think
he got all that information?

1188
01:21:24,437 --> 01:21:27,856
Oh, from the oddest place. His parents.

1189
01:21:28,024 --> 01:21:30,358
I mean, I don't think
I got that memo from mine.

1190
01:21:30,568 --> 01:21:33,403
Now I suppose
he's trying to make those dancers...

1191
01:21:33,571 --> 01:21:36,239
feel as comfortable as possible.

1192
01:21:36,449 --> 01:21:39,242
No. He didn't go home with them.

1193
01:21:44,165 --> 01:21:45,916
Well...

1194
01:21:46,083 --> 01:21:47,375
He went home with Sophie.

1195
01:21:49,879 --> 01:21:51,463
- No!
- Yep.

1196
01:21:51,672 --> 01:21:53,173
No!

1197
01:21:53,382 --> 01:21:56,384
She swept him out of the room
whispering French sweet nothings.

1198
01:21:56,552 --> 01:21:59,554
No, not Sophie, not Sophie.
Don't tell me that.

1199
01:21:59,764 --> 01:22:02,766
So, what you gonna do,
go to her place and kick the door in?

1200
01:22:02,934 --> 01:22:05,560
You're goddamn right I am.

1201
01:22:06,771 --> 01:22:10,106
- You coming?
- You kidding? Sophie would kill me.

1202
01:22:11,108 --> 01:22:12,609
Oh, coward.

1203
01:22:13,194 --> 01:22:15,111
Gentleman coward.

1204
01:22:29,544 --> 01:22:31,002
Eve!

1205
01:22:33,089 --> 01:22:36,132
So scare me, why don't you?
You stupid son of a bitch.

1206
01:22:36,300 --> 01:22:39,135
- I'm really sorry.
- What are you doing here?

1207
01:22:39,303 --> 01:22:41,638
You're supposed to be
on San Vicente Boulevard...

1208
01:22:41,806 --> 01:22:44,516
having unsafe sex with that slut Sophie.

1209
01:22:45,017 --> 01:22:48,645
- I know, and I'm really sorry.
- I'm limping.

1210
01:22:48,896 --> 01:22:51,398
How attractive is that?
What if this is for life?

1211
01:22:51,566 --> 01:22:53,567
- Adam.
- Where the hell are those bandages?

1212
01:22:53,734 --> 01:22:55,652
- I was just gonna say...
- I know.

1213
01:22:55,820 --> 01:22:57,988
- And then she went, "Aah" and she...
- I know.

1214
01:22:58,155 --> 01:23:00,657
- I didn't mean to scare her.
- Of course you didn't.

1215
01:23:00,825 --> 01:23:02,993
Nothing I do with her
ever seems to be right.

1216
01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:05,495
Used to be up here with the coffee.
Why don't...?

1217
01:23:05,663 --> 01:23:08,999
That's because you're a nice boy...

1218
01:23:09,166 --> 01:23:12,085
but what Eve needs is a nice man.

1219
01:23:12,253 --> 01:23:15,755
Understand, champ? Good night.

1220
01:23:16,299 --> 01:23:17,924
Night, Troy.

1221
01:23:18,342 --> 01:23:19,467
You still here?

1222
01:23:19,635 --> 01:23:21,261
- Let me help.
- I can do it myself.

1223
01:23:21,429 --> 01:23:24,014
I know more about first aid
than you know about cards.

1224
01:23:24,181 --> 01:23:27,851
Give me the stuff and sit down. Sit.

1225
01:23:29,645 --> 01:23:32,439
Let me see. Give me your knee.

1226
01:23:34,191 --> 01:23:37,152
- These pants are ruined, right?
- I'd say so.

1227
01:23:37,320 --> 01:23:38,820
There.

1228
01:23:44,535 --> 01:23:46,953
- Aah... Ouch.
- Steady.

1229
01:23:47,371 --> 01:23:52,042
- There. And don't be such a baby.
- Oh, I'm the baby?

1230
01:23:58,591 --> 01:24:00,091
Um...

1231
01:24:01,385 --> 01:24:02,886
Did, um...?

1232
01:24:04,722 --> 01:24:06,681
Did you go to Sophie's?

1233
01:24:07,892 --> 01:24:09,225
Of course.

1234
01:24:10,811 --> 01:24:12,562
And?

1235
01:24:13,022 --> 01:24:16,650
- She was hospitable.
- Hospitable?

1236
01:24:17,068 --> 01:24:18,735
Huh.

1237
01:24:21,906 --> 01:24:25,742
But it just wasn't where I wanted to be.

1238
01:24:26,494 --> 01:24:31,498
So I left as politely as I could,
and I found a taxi...

1239
01:24:31,666 --> 01:24:35,710
and I told the driver to bring me here
instead of back to the hotel.

1240
01:24:39,256 --> 01:24:42,717
There is a song that Mr. Como sings...

1241
01:24:42,885 --> 01:24:44,844
called "On the Street Where You Live."

1242
01:24:45,012 --> 01:24:46,513
Do you know it?

1243
01:24:47,431 --> 01:24:49,516
Sing it to me.

1244
01:24:52,728 --> 01:24:54,604
Um...

1245
01:24:54,772 --> 01:24:58,858
I have often walked
Down this street before

1246
01:24:59,026 --> 01:25:04,030
But the pavement always stayed
Beneath my feet before

1247
01:25:04,198 --> 01:25:09,828
All at once am I
Several stories high

1248
01:25:09,996 --> 01:25:15,291
Knowing I'm on the street
Where you live

1249
01:25:15,459 --> 01:25:21,589
It's a song about a young man
who's overjoyed...

1250
01:25:23,467 --> 01:25:25,760
just to be standing
in front of the house...

1251
01:25:26,887 --> 01:25:32,058
of the person that he loves.

1252
01:25:45,698 --> 01:25:49,451
Adam, you know, I...

1253
01:25:57,418 --> 01:26:03,298
Adam, I know this is stupid,
but humor me.

1254
01:26:06,510 --> 01:26:08,595
Have you ever had sex before?

1255
01:26:11,682 --> 01:26:12,766
No.

1256
01:26:14,852 --> 01:26:17,437
How is that possible?

1257
01:26:18,147 --> 01:26:20,273
You better sit back down.

1258
01:26:24,236 --> 01:26:26,696
In 1962, when the bomb
was dropped on Los Angeles...

1259
01:26:26,864 --> 01:26:29,699
my parents were in our fallout shelter.

1260
01:26:29,867 --> 01:26:31,117
That's where I was born.

1261
01:26:32,495 --> 01:26:34,871
We only survived
because it's a huge shelter...

1262
01:26:35,039 --> 01:26:37,957
as far as fallout shelters go.

1263
01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:41,711
My father worked on it secretly
for years.

1264
01:26:41,879 --> 01:26:45,173
When he had to, he used contractors,
but always from out of state...

1265
01:26:45,341 --> 01:26:47,550
and always for only a portion
of the job.

1266
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:50,220
He told them it was a
secret government experiment...

1267
01:26:50,387 --> 01:26:51,638
done through Caltech.

1268
01:26:51,847 --> 01:26:53,181
Now, my dad's not a liar...

1269
01:26:53,349 --> 01:26:55,892
but in this case,
he felt he had no choice.

1270
01:26:56,060 --> 01:26:58,228
Of course, it had to be kept a secret.

1271
01:26:58,395 --> 01:27:02,398
We only had enough supplies
to last three people for 35 years.

1272
01:27:02,566 --> 01:27:04,901
The really tricky part
was the air-vent system...

1273
01:27:05,069 --> 01:27:08,571
but we were finally able
to cut into the flood-control sewer...

1274
01:27:12,201 --> 01:27:16,246
Eve, what I would like to do...

1275
01:27:16,413 --> 01:27:19,082
is to take you with me
down into the fallout shelter.

1276
01:27:19,917 --> 01:27:22,919
We could live there with my mom and dad.

1277
01:27:23,087 --> 01:27:26,214
My dad said
that if I found a healthy young girl...

1278
01:27:26,382 --> 01:27:28,716
that I should bring her on down.

1279
01:27:29,343 --> 01:27:31,261
Why, Eve...

1280
01:27:32,179 --> 01:27:35,515
you look plenty healthy to me.

1281
01:27:39,228 --> 01:27:42,105
- Adam?
- Yes, Eve?

1282
01:27:43,941 --> 01:27:46,776
I think it's time to call a cab.

1283
01:27:48,988 --> 01:27:50,947
Oh. Of course. You're absolutely right.

1284
01:27:51,115 --> 01:27:54,534
I really shouldn't be over here
at this late hour.

1285
01:27:57,329 --> 01:27:58,830
Mm-hm.

1286
01:28:03,043 --> 01:28:04,961
Good night, Adam.

1287
01:28:10,843 --> 01:28:12,594
Thank you.

1288
01:28:30,112 --> 01:28:33,615
- Goddamn, Adam.
- Wait a minute.

1289
01:28:34,783 --> 01:28:36,492
Oh, look, I'm sorry.

1290
01:28:36,660 --> 01:28:39,412
I know, I took the Lord's name
in vain again. I...

1291
01:28:39,580 --> 01:28:42,624
No. There's an adult bookstore
back there.

1292
01:28:42,791 --> 01:28:44,792
I'll be right back.

1293
01:28:58,474 --> 01:28:59,515
Give us a sign.

1294
01:28:59,683 --> 01:29:00,725
- Amen.
- Yeah.

1295
01:29:00,893 --> 01:29:02,101
- That's all we ask.
- Amen.

1296
01:29:02,269 --> 01:29:05,521
- Just give us some sort of sign.
- Amen.

1297
01:29:05,689 --> 01:29:10,652
- Just show us that we're not alone.
- Yeah.

1298
01:29:33,926 --> 01:29:35,343
Hi, Eve.

1299
01:29:35,511 --> 01:29:39,389
- Hi, Adam. This is...
- Hi, Adam, I'm Nina Aron.

1300
01:29:40,349 --> 01:29:42,517
- Hello, how do you do?
- Very well, thank you.

1301
01:29:42,685 --> 01:29:45,061
I'm with the county
Family Services Department.

1302
01:29:45,229 --> 01:29:50,024
Eve tells me you've been living
in a bomb shelter most of your life.

1303
01:29:51,527 --> 01:29:54,737
Fallout shelter. There is a difference.

1304
01:29:54,947 --> 01:29:58,825
Adam, I'd like to introduce you
to my associate, Mr. Brown.

1305
01:29:59,994 --> 01:30:01,577
Hello.

1306
01:30:02,579 --> 01:30:04,080
We want you to come with us...

1307
01:30:04,248 --> 01:30:06,749
so we can talk some more
about your experiences.

1308
01:30:06,917 --> 01:30:09,585
- Come where?
- My office.

1309
01:30:09,753 --> 01:30:11,587
For how long?

1310
01:30:11,755 --> 01:30:13,548
Well, that depends.

1311
01:30:13,757 --> 01:30:16,092
Well, I thank you very much
for the invitation...

1312
01:30:16,260 --> 01:30:17,593
but I'm very busy today.

1313
01:30:17,761 --> 01:30:22,056
- Perhaps I could see you tomorrow.
- I think you should go with Dr. Aron.

1314
01:30:23,017 --> 01:30:25,560
I think it's the best thing.

1315
01:30:25,728 --> 01:30:28,938
I think it's the best thing
for you, I do.

1316
01:30:34,737 --> 01:30:36,279
All right, Eve, if you say so.

1317
01:30:37,990 --> 01:30:39,866
I do.

1318
01:30:41,869 --> 01:30:43,369
Could I please just go home?

1319
01:30:43,537 --> 01:30:45,955
I was lost,
but I found home this morning.

1320
01:30:46,123 --> 01:30:50,752
And if I can just go home, I promise
I'll never bother any of you ever again.

1321
01:30:50,961 --> 01:30:54,297
Adam, uh, let's go talk first.

1322
01:30:57,926 --> 01:31:00,887
- Yes, ma'am.
- Okay.

1323
01:31:03,807 --> 01:31:05,016
Bye, Adam.

1324
01:31:06,769 --> 01:31:08,478
Bye, Troy.

1325
01:31:15,444 --> 01:31:19,280
- You'll be hearing from me.
- Oh, yes.

1326
01:31:21,617 --> 01:31:24,494
What? What was I supposed to do?

1327
01:31:24,661 --> 01:31:26,788
He told me he wanted
to take me underground.

1328
01:31:26,955 --> 01:31:30,333
That's like Silence of the Lambs.
It's crazy.

1329
01:31:30,542 --> 01:31:33,252
Yeah. You did the right thing.

1330
01:31:37,049 --> 01:31:39,133
- Hey, hey.
- Oh, no.

1331
01:31:39,343 --> 01:31:40,593
Where you going?

1332
01:31:42,429 --> 01:31:44,180
- Oh, my God.
- All right, don't worry.

1333
01:31:44,348 --> 01:31:47,475
Don't worry, he'll catch him.
Yes, this is Nina Aron.

1334
01:31:47,684 --> 01:31:50,353
I've got a runaway,
and I'm gonna need police assistance.

1335
01:31:50,562 --> 01:31:52,939
- No, you cannot call them.
- Young lady, I have to.

1336
01:31:53,107 --> 01:31:55,358
If a complaint is made
and the person resists...

1337
01:31:55,526 --> 01:31:56,818
No, I cannot have that.

1338
01:31:57,027 --> 01:31:59,654
They'll come with their cars
and their guns and...

1339
01:31:59,822 --> 01:32:01,447
All right, all right. Calm down.

1340
01:32:01,615 --> 01:32:04,867
Now, that young man needs help,
and you need protection from him.

1341
01:32:05,077 --> 01:32:06,202
I was frightened.

1342
01:32:06,370 --> 01:32:10,873
I didn't know what to think,
but, you know, I believe him.

1343
01:32:11,041 --> 01:32:12,333
I think he just...

1344
01:32:12,543 --> 01:32:15,878
I do. I really think he just wants
to go home, wherever that might be.

1345
01:32:16,046 --> 01:32:19,465
All right, everybody has to calm down.
That's the most important thing.

1346
01:32:19,633 --> 01:32:21,217
- Eve. Here's my hotel key.
- Adam.

1347
01:32:21,385 --> 01:32:24,303
You can have my baseball cards.
Don't forget to pay my bill.

1348
01:32:24,471 --> 01:32:27,557
You stop right there.
Stop. Don't get in that truck.

1349
01:32:27,724 --> 01:32:30,393
Adam, you gotta stop
trying to drive this truck.

1350
01:32:30,561 --> 01:32:31,686
- Bye, Troy.
- Bye, Adam.

1351
01:32:31,854 --> 01:32:33,354
Thanks for always being happy.

1352
01:32:33,522 --> 01:32:35,731
- What?
- Gay.

1353
01:32:38,277 --> 01:32:40,486
Oh! Oh! Oh!

1354
01:32:40,654 --> 01:32:43,489
That's my car, you son of a bitch!

1355
01:32:44,074 --> 01:32:46,576
- Where the hell have you been?
- I fell down.

1356
01:32:46,743 --> 01:32:48,911
You guys get the license number
on that truck?

1357
01:32:49,079 --> 01:32:51,998
What are you asking them for?
They're as screwed up as he is.

1358
01:32:52,166 --> 01:32:54,417
Everybody keep calm.
That's the important thing.

1359
01:32:54,626 --> 01:32:56,252
Who you talking to, you stupid...?

1360
01:32:56,420 --> 01:32:58,629
- Eve! Eve!
- Okay, okay, okay.

1361
01:33:06,930 --> 01:33:10,391
Mom? Dad? I'm home.

1362
01:33:11,143 --> 01:33:13,978
Oh! Oh.

1363
01:33:14,146 --> 01:33:16,522
Adam. Oh, Adam.

1364
01:33:17,566 --> 01:33:20,109
- Oh.
- I've got almost everything we need.

1365
01:33:20,277 --> 01:33:23,279
- And this nice man...
- Archbishop Melker.

1366
01:33:23,447 --> 01:33:24,864
We met previously.

1367
01:33:25,073 --> 01:33:27,783
... And his church group volunteered
to help bring it down.

1368
01:33:28,035 --> 01:33:30,703
- But we've gotta hurry.
- Are you in trouble, son?

1369
01:33:30,871 --> 01:33:33,247
I think I'm being chased
by a psychiatrist.

1370
01:33:33,415 --> 01:33:35,708
- A psychiatrist?
- It happens.

1371
01:33:36,168 --> 01:33:39,420
Oh, my goodness. How bad is it up there?

1372
01:33:39,963 --> 01:33:41,631
Horrible.

1373
01:33:43,258 --> 01:33:45,384
There's something on your forehead.

1374
01:33:45,594 --> 01:33:48,179
- Calvin.
- I know.

1375
01:34:08,242 --> 01:34:10,660
Okay.

1376
01:34:25,092 --> 01:34:26,175
Is this it?

1377
01:34:30,097 --> 01:34:34,684
- Well, what are we gonna do with it?
- Give it back to him.

1378
01:34:34,851 --> 01:34:37,311
- And what if we can't find him?
- We'll find him.

1379
01:34:37,479 --> 01:34:39,105
Well...

1380
01:34:59,334 --> 01:35:01,794
Hey, Eve.

1381
01:35:02,713 --> 01:35:06,841
Eve, uh, look what I found in the suitcase.
It's stock certificates.

1382
01:35:07,009 --> 01:35:08,217
I mean, it's got, like...

1383
01:35:08,385 --> 01:35:12,388
It's got, like, IBM and ATandT
and Polaroid and...

1384
01:35:12,556 --> 01:35:16,142
Ipana? I remember this brand.

1385
01:35:16,310 --> 01:35:18,644
I didn't know they still made this.

1386
01:35:21,231 --> 01:35:26,527
Oh. Look at this.
It says, "Trademark 1961."

1387
01:35:30,532 --> 01:35:32,658
Hurry, my friends,
we have no time to waste.

1388
01:35:32,826 --> 01:35:35,536
The son has spoken. Let's step it up.

1389
01:35:35,746 --> 01:35:39,665
Leave my elevator alone.
Leave my elevator alone.

1390
01:35:39,833 --> 01:35:42,418
We're losing the light.

1391
01:35:42,669 --> 01:35:46,505
Purchased in 1958 and '59?
Ten thousand shares of each?

1392
01:35:46,673 --> 01:35:48,424
- Mm-hm.
- They'd be worth millions.

1393
01:35:48,592 --> 01:35:51,677
Hell, I don't know.
Millions upon millions...

1394
01:35:51,887 --> 01:35:53,596
Upon millions.

1395
01:35:54,014 --> 01:35:59,894
The stocks, the baseball cards,
the clothes, the toothpaste.

1396
01:36:00,062 --> 01:36:02,063
The guy's on the level.

1397
01:36:02,731 --> 01:36:04,273
Eve.

1398
01:36:04,441 --> 01:36:08,569
Eve, a man walks into your life
who's the kindest, most polite...

1399
01:36:08,737 --> 01:36:10,780
most incredibly rich guy
you've ever met.

1400
01:36:10,947 --> 01:36:13,282
And I have him committed.

1401
01:36:13,450 --> 01:36:16,702
Yes. Yes, you did.

1402
01:36:17,120 --> 01:36:18,788
Yeah.

1403
01:36:19,790 --> 01:36:23,376
Well, at least I fell for him
before I found out he was rich.

1404
01:36:23,543 --> 01:36:26,212
- That's new.
- Yeah.

1405
01:36:27,547 --> 01:36:32,134
He said today he knew where home was.
Where'd you guys go this morning?

1406
01:36:32,803 --> 01:36:35,304
Just to pick up frozen poultry.

1407
01:36:35,472 --> 01:36:38,265
- Then?
- Then back to the house.

1408
01:36:38,433 --> 01:36:40,643
You didn't stop anywhere?

1409
01:36:42,896 --> 01:36:45,481
We did. We stopped at a porn shop.

1410
01:36:45,982 --> 01:36:49,485
We stopped at this adult bookstore.
Adam was very excited to see it.

1411
01:36:49,653 --> 01:36:53,614
- Adam was very excited to see porn?
- Yes.

1412
01:36:53,782 --> 01:36:56,659
Eve, do you think maybe his home...

1413
01:36:56,868 --> 01:37:00,079
is underneath a dirty bookstore
in the Valley?

1414
01:37:05,335 --> 01:37:08,796
- Is this it?
- Yeah. Yeah, this is the place.

1415
01:37:28,191 --> 01:37:31,777
Harder. Adam? Adam?

1416
01:37:33,196 --> 01:37:35,781
Um, heh. Do you have a basement?

1417
01:37:35,949 --> 01:37:40,202
Believe me, all the really good stuff
is right up front.

1418
01:37:41,872 --> 01:37:43,664
Is there a back entrance or something?

1419
01:37:43,874 --> 01:37:45,833
Are you kidding? Of course.

1420
01:37:46,042 --> 01:37:48,544
Nice kid. Nice kid.

1421
01:37:50,672 --> 01:37:53,549
What are we looking for?
This is ridiculous.

1422
01:37:53,717 --> 01:37:56,343
Why would they put a fallout shelter
under a porn shop?

1423
01:37:56,511 --> 01:37:58,179
None of this was here back in '62.

1424
01:37:58,346 --> 01:38:00,723
Back then this was all, like,
cute little homes...

1425
01:38:00,891 --> 01:38:03,642
and, you know, fruit orchards.

1426
01:38:03,852 --> 01:38:06,437
Well, we've come a long way, haven't we?

1427
01:38:07,731 --> 01:38:11,484
- I wanna go home.
- Yeah. Maybe he'll call, huh?

1428
01:38:12,861 --> 01:38:14,820
Uh, Eve?

1429
01:38:14,988 --> 01:38:16,739
This is Adam.

1430
01:38:17,574 --> 01:38:21,035
Look, I just wanted to thank you
for everything you did for me.

1431
01:38:21,203 --> 01:38:24,747
And I wanted to tell you that I...

1432
01:38:25,207 --> 01:38:27,416
That, uh...

1433
01:38:27,584 --> 01:38:29,919
That I wish so many good things for you.

1434
01:38:30,086 --> 01:38:33,589
I wish so hard
that all of your dreams come true.

1435
01:38:33,757 --> 01:38:35,841
And that...

1436
01:38:36,009 --> 01:38:39,261
And that's all I... And that's all.

1437
01:39:04,704 --> 01:39:07,998
Surprise. Bang! Ha-ha-ha.

1438
01:39:11,378 --> 01:39:13,754
Stay out of here, you drunk.

1439
01:39:16,508 --> 01:39:18,968
Mm-mm-mm.

1440
01:39:39,239 --> 01:39:40,906
Adam?

1441
01:40:19,154 --> 01:40:23,991
- How long you gonna set it for this time?
- I thought 10 years.

1442
01:40:24,367 --> 01:40:29,204
Well, it's considerably shorter
than before...

1443
01:40:29,706 --> 01:40:33,375
but I was wondering, Calvin,
I mean, why set the locks at all?

1444
01:40:33,585 --> 01:40:35,002
I mean, the radiation's gone.

1445
01:40:35,170 --> 01:40:37,880
To keep what's up there
from getting down here.

1446
01:40:38,048 --> 01:40:41,091
It's not radiation I'm worried about.

1447
01:40:41,468 --> 01:40:43,135
Mom. Dad.

1448
01:40:46,348 --> 01:40:47,890
Oh, ho.

1449
01:40:53,355 --> 01:40:56,523
I would like for you to meet
Miss Eve Rustokov.

1450
01:40:56,691 --> 01:40:58,859
- Mrs. Webber.
- Hello.

1451
01:40:59,027 --> 01:41:00,736
- Mr. Webber.
- Hello.

1452
01:41:01,404 --> 01:41:04,323
Adam's told me
such wonderful things about you.

1453
01:41:04,908 --> 01:41:06,992
Oh, well, excuse us, please.

1454
01:41:07,160 --> 01:41:11,080
- We haven't entertained a guest in...
- Quite some time.

1455
01:41:11,247 --> 01:41:14,083
Oh, Eve, what can I offer you?

1456
01:41:14,250 --> 01:41:17,753
- Mom, Eve and I have to go.
- Oh, Adam, you just got here.

1457
01:41:17,921 --> 01:41:21,256
I can't explain now, but I want you
to set the locks for two months.

1458
01:41:21,424 --> 01:41:24,510
You've got enough of everything.
We'll be right back to get you.

1459
01:41:24,678 --> 01:41:26,637
But I don't understand.

1460
01:41:26,846 --> 01:41:30,015
And I'm asking you to trust me
without understanding why.

1461
01:41:30,225 --> 01:41:33,769
- In that case, of course.
- Of course, son.

1462
01:41:33,937 --> 01:41:37,231
- They really are wonderful parents.
- Ha-ha-ha.

1463
01:41:37,816 --> 01:41:40,776
Oh, Adam.
Could you at least stay for dinner?

1464
01:41:40,944 --> 01:41:43,654
- Well, we do...
- You must.

1465
01:41:46,324 --> 01:41:47,825
Perfect.

1466
01:41:47,993 --> 01:41:49,910
Now, tell me if you've heard this one.

1467
01:41:50,078 --> 01:41:52,246
Duck walks into a drugstore.

1468
01:41:52,414 --> 01:41:57,376
This gravy is an old favorite of Calvin's.
Now, Eve, the platter is down there.

1469
01:41:57,544 --> 01:41:59,586
Would you get that, honey?

1470
01:41:59,754 --> 01:42:03,841
The sperm swims toward the egg. Pop.

1471
01:42:04,009 --> 01:42:05,467
- Into the egg.
- But why?

1472
01:42:05,635 --> 01:42:07,219
Because it must.

1473
01:42:07,387 --> 01:42:11,974
- But why?
- Because it's out there.

1474
01:42:12,684 --> 01:42:16,311
I don't mean to be nosy,
but are you and Adam dating?

1475
01:42:16,479 --> 01:42:18,522
Yeah, we are.

1476
01:42:19,983 --> 01:42:22,943
And I'm from Pasadena.

1477
01:42:26,322 --> 01:42:29,825
And you thought your parents were weird.

1478
01:42:30,827 --> 01:42:34,163
It's truly amazing what you can get
done when you have unlimited funds.

1479
01:42:35,040 --> 01:42:38,500
Do you know you can have whole
houses built in just a matter of months?

1480
01:42:38,668 --> 01:42:41,086
It's like the Garden of Eden,
don't you think?

1481
01:42:41,296 --> 01:42:44,048
All you have to say is this:
"I don't care what it costs."

1482
01:42:44,215 --> 01:42:47,342
Of course, you've gotta really mean it,
which no one ever does.

1483
01:42:48,011 --> 01:42:50,554
It took a while
to convince Archbishop Melker...

1484
01:42:50,722 --> 01:42:52,097
that Adam wasn't God...

1485
01:42:52,307 --> 01:42:54,641
and he was pretty broken up
about it too.

1486
01:42:54,809 --> 01:42:58,729
Until I showed him my plans
for Los Angeles' hottest nightspot.

1487
01:42:58,897 --> 01:43:00,189
It's my goddamn malt shop.

1488
01:43:00,356 --> 01:43:02,858
- Let's figure out what's gonna happen.
- Okay.

1489
01:43:03,026 --> 01:43:06,361
Now, I want the whole ownership
of everything downstairs, all right?

1490
01:43:06,529 --> 01:43:09,323
- Well...
- I want one of my guys at the door.

1491
01:43:12,243 --> 01:43:16,747
Our idea was to bring Adam's parents
up to the surface very slowly...

1492
01:43:16,915 --> 01:43:20,250
make them very comfortable,
and then break the bad news to them...

1493
01:43:20,418 --> 01:43:23,712
that there was no nuclear holocaust.

1494
01:43:37,769 --> 01:43:39,228
Oh, Adam.

1495
01:43:51,574 --> 01:43:53,909
Oh, son.

1496
01:43:57,956 --> 01:44:02,334
Okay. And here you go. Careful.

1497
01:44:09,134 --> 01:44:10,717
It's hot.

1498
01:44:10,927 --> 01:44:12,427
Careful.

1499
01:44:15,140 --> 01:44:19,977
Have you ever in your life seen a son
who did more for his parents?

1500
01:44:20,770 --> 01:44:23,397
This is beautiful.

1501
01:44:24,315 --> 01:44:27,609
- It's absolutely beautiful.
- Yeah.

1502
01:44:27,777 --> 01:44:33,407
Well, we seem to have everything,
but, you know...

1503
01:44:34,159 --> 01:44:38,120
it's not much different
from the fallout shelter.

1504
01:44:38,955 --> 01:44:43,500
No, Calvin, this is different,
believe me.

1505
01:44:46,838 --> 01:44:51,049
This is great, son.

1506
01:44:53,720 --> 01:44:55,429
By the way...

1507
01:44:56,764 --> 01:45:01,351
Eve, her last name, Rustokov,
that's not Russian, is it?

1508
01:45:01,519 --> 01:45:04,563
No, it's, uh, Ukrainian.
Her grandparents immigrated.

1509
01:45:08,818 --> 01:45:10,777
Dad, I don't know
how to tell you this...

1510
01:45:10,945 --> 01:45:14,072
and I was gonna wait for a while
to do it, but, um...

1511
01:45:16,618 --> 01:45:20,370
Dad, there was no bomb.
A plane crashed in our back yard.

1512
01:45:20,580 --> 01:45:23,248
I looked it up in old newspapers.

1513
01:45:23,875 --> 01:45:26,210
- Are you sure?
- Positive.

1514
01:45:26,419 --> 01:45:29,296
The Soviet Union collapsed
without a shot being fired.

1515
01:45:29,464 --> 01:45:30,964
The Cold War's over.

1516
01:45:34,844 --> 01:45:37,304
That's what everyone believes?

1517
01:45:37,472 --> 01:45:39,264
Oh, yes, sir.

1518
01:45:39,432 --> 01:45:40,891
And it's true.

1519
01:45:42,101 --> 01:45:46,355
What, the Politburo one day said:

1520
01:45:47,106 --> 01:45:49,858
"We give up"? Ha-ha-ha.

1521
01:45:50,652 --> 01:45:53,111
Yes, that's kind of how it went.

1522
01:45:53,321 --> 01:45:56,490
My gosh, those commies are brilliant.

1523
01:45:56,658 --> 01:45:58,533
You have to hand it to them.

1524
01:45:58,743 --> 01:46:01,370
"No, we didn't drop any bombs.

1525
01:46:01,537 --> 01:46:05,707
Oh, yeah, our evil empire has collapsed.
Poor us."

1526
01:46:05,875 --> 01:46:10,045
I'll bet they even asked the West
for aid.

1527
01:46:10,255 --> 01:46:11,546
Right?

1528
01:46:11,714 --> 01:46:14,258
Um, I think they did.

1529
01:46:14,467 --> 01:46:17,719
Oh, boys. Dinnertime.

1530
01:46:17,887 --> 01:46:18,971
Pot roast.

1531
01:46:24,143 --> 01:46:25,811
I'll tell you.

1532
01:46:27,981 --> 01:46:29,690
Funny guy.

1533
01:46:30,400 --> 01:46:33,568
- Don't tell your mother.
- No, okay.

1534
01:46:33,736 --> 01:46:36,905
Adam says that
this is simply how things work.

1535
01:46:37,073 --> 01:46:39,408
First the parents
take care of the children...

1536
01:46:39,575 --> 01:46:42,160
and then the children
take care of the parents.

1537
01:46:42,328 --> 01:46:45,414
He says historically,
that's how it works.

1538
01:46:45,581 --> 01:46:48,083
Damn commies.

1539
01:46:51,379 --> 01:46:55,590
Whenever Adam gives me
such obviously incorrect information...

1540
01:46:55,758 --> 01:47:00,721
I just smile, slap him on the knee,
and look out the window.

1541
01:47:00,888 --> 01:47:02,264
Why spoil his dreams?

1542
01:47:03,182 --> 01:47:06,393
They're such wonderful dreams.